was home the whole day.. cause i was forced to take off.. i have over 40 daes off... and just nice todae i dun have any task in hand so my boss forced me to take off.. haha..
but an off dae is not east to pass man...
even thought i slept at 1 ytd...and wake up at 12 todae..is the longest i have slpet.. but i keep waking up in the middle... i dun feel like i have take the 11 hrs slp...
haha.. nvm
the later part of the day i was making phone call here and there...
settle the ppl in bangkok... bo bian asked them for a big flavour... still got to talk more to make them happy and willing to help me...
heee actually i came here is because while i was surfing aimlessly on the web i found this...

The problem stemmed from a difference in approach. To many men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. Mark thought he was reassuring Eve by telling her there was something she could do about her scar. But often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions.

When my mother tells my father she doesn't feel well, he invariably offers to take her to the doctor. Invariably, she is disappointed with his reaction. Like many men, he is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy.

i am just like a normal man, telling the solution, however after looking at these i kind of like understand why i keep getting the reply SIAN.. or something same.. but i dunno wat to text back.. kind of need to read more ba.. haha or someone can tell me???? heee
todae every shit tt can fall on a person fall on me..
ytd nite.. first step into this shit dae...
i dream of myself dead.. in my own funereal, onli got godpa, bear, alfread, gamer, phyco, ite and chunyip.
not even my family is there.. is like i also dunno wat to say it just wake me u at 2 when i start to slp at 12.30.
nvm then come second one.. cannot get to slp so prepare for my mock test. then wat i study did not come out for the test.. sian liao lo... after then result come back 60%.. wth...
also nvm.. next... go out to ns.. take lift until downstair forget to bring ez-link card... go back take.. then in lift see one siao uncle.. knn smoke in lift.. ccb..
nvm... then go busstop.. wait for 240 wait fucking long...
nvm... then got on bus find a sit, sat down.. one auntie brought laska on bus packet one.. dunno whu will wan to eat laska early the the morning sia... then cause bus pack she sit beside me.. then got one uncle push until her hand.. her laska fall then kena my shoe and jeans... early in the morning...
nvm... reach jp faster go toilet wash... then toliet got ppl shit.. fucking smelly...
nvm... then went to take camp bus.. just saw the bus.. it went off.. i am late liao lo..
nvm... go camp.. first thing late kena fuck
nvm... hope the other will be ok.. then coem call me here and there knn.
nvm... when i doing secret with my friend, maj call.. ask the guy doing with u malay ar? i say yes.. he say malay canot touch secret.. WTH.. then ask e everything do myself..
nvm.. i do... do for like very 10 min he call me do this do that like i very free like tt..
nvm.. then i neeed to rush all this by fri cause mon course start... if not fri i no need go home liao... then he keep adding more workload on me..
nvm.. then forget lunch..
nvm.. wan to buy redbull... sold out...
nvm.. forget it go back my room do.... air-con spoil....knn
nvm.. end up and with lots of paper and pen knife cuts..
nvm.. do until 5 thoguht can go home rest awhile... then sir see me say choke.. edwin mess up the AIOC returning of books... help him out.. wth.. meaning i stay back to help...
nvm.. then all the sir all look for me give me all sort of stupid reason for missing books and lost pages...
nvm.. finally can go home.. changed.. wan to step out of office... another student coem gif me shit...
nvm.. do lo.. walk out of sdc.. nvm tuck in shirt.. kena from warrant officer cb...
nvm.. walk cross sdc... door closed...
nvm.. walk one big round.. reach busstop get on the bus no ppl... press the bell..uncle dun wan stop de lei...passed one busstop...
nvm.. i walk back.. while walking to shuinan house downstair de busstop.. dunno how i kick one stupid stone and fall down..
nvm.. saw the busstop missed 99... and ping in the bus too...
nvm.. reach home wan use com.. both com bro use..
nvm.. then wan to eat dinner whole dae nv eat.. mum cook all those i dun like one..
nvm.. go bath.. fall down in bathroom..
nvm.. sit down dun wan move.. father scolding me y nv help mum do this do tt...
after allt his shit happen just in a dae.. u think is this a dae???
todae is a really dunno wat dae???
i 'm confused here.. really..
am i wrong??? wrong pls tell me... someone
fucking scold me or wat... tell me i'm in wrong..
really felt useless...
first time trying my really best to help but i still failed!
waking up at 7 just to go down to alfred house to wear my business suit. where i dun touch it at all...
then when down damn early when i am suppose to meet him at 9.. reach at 8...
while waiting think of all the things i can say to him..
however he keep wanting me to join his sch.. wtf la... first i dun study their courses.
second why is it tt u got space for me and her when u dun have space for her??? bulllshit la....
talk to him for 1 and a half hours.. still can't.. then he got to leave... and it's start pouring... get on a cab get to alfred house the way from the road to his house. i was really down... drench in the pouring rain.. feeling so heavy like nv before...
really felt very bad...
haiz....

i thought after this i can rest welll... cause for the whole week i have nv slpet for more than 3 hrs a dae... somemore was sick on mondae got to go hospital in the nite...

somemore on wed i'm going for operation on my knees... there is onli 75% success rate.. i dunno how.. but i think i will take it... haiz.. can't seem to slp... haiz
i dunno y i felt like this but i am,
feeling tt i have done something wrong by look at ur reply..
i i know u r very tired...
or maybe is me whu thinks too much..
i have been trying to help to think of ways to help.. but i still cannot get the solution and i haven told u , and tt wat i scared. u going to be sina and cannot sleep well..
tt the reason y i dun wan to tell u i am sick too..
but i know is ping whu tell u i dun blame him cause he know how much u mean to me.
i'm just blaming myself tt i am useless.. now my left arm is like totally no strength.. sian.. and i stil got things to help in.. i afraid tt this will failed and i dun wan it to fail..
back home..
just feel like blogging..
nth much even thought in my brain i think there is aleast a hundred things i wan to blog about..
but firstly is my keyboard is giving me problems... i got to retype the word dunno how any times then it get corrected...
but i dun think i will blog everything out since no pl will actually look at these..
i think???

actually wat i wan to blog about is just one thing...
i just wan u to live happy with ur life...
not worrying about wat ppl think even me..
cause wat ever u do as long as it make sense and u dun regret it.. practically i dun object or say nag to u..
as long as u think about it..
tt wat i always hope for you..

i dun think i will blog about other stuff ba...
kind of relief feeling come into me these few dae.. so ok ba.
ppl please get plenty of rest...
dun fall sick...
is in GOOD MOOD TODAE...
still ok la... haha.. even thought i was just studying..
even thought form next week onward i got to wake up at 4.30 everydae to study...
but ytd i was happy.. i get to see ur face in close range again.. even though it is something i shouldn't do..
just to put it simply.. I"M HAPPPY CAUSE OF U~~ lala
wake up with just 3 hrs of slp but not feeling tired lol..

had a strange dream just now... meet her but lost my army secret stuff.. army too stress le ba.. lolz

this week kind of like blur blur to pass ba..

from mondae dunno y head had been spinning until ytd.. eating dunno how many panodol a dae, dun really rmb things.. super short term memory..

then wed morning went for my trainning safty officer course which last 3 day..
wed morning still okok.. until about lunch time ping call me, where i am not suppose to use my phone. he say urgent in sms so i pick up. during my break, whu know he pop this kind of news to me.. but then wat i can say, not tt i dun wan to care is tt without him telling me.. i will be the last person on earth to know ba..
but still i called. when the call is not answer i was like an ant on a hot pot. dunno wat to do. go back to class with my phone on, it rang and i just pick it up.
my sir look so stunt at me but after i hang up i kena scold until like dunno wat... plus tt dae the test i got onli 56% when i always get 90 and above...

wed i dunno how i walk but almost fall down twice in just 5 min time.

thurs was like hell of a great spin.. head was really in pain and spinning around but is till got to go for the course.. but aleast i get 64% this time around but still i kena scold...

fri.. nv go for course cause going to the police station. but i take the test early in the morning i spend my time reading on it on thurs nite. finally manage to get a 92%... so sir is still happy about it.. then i went to the police station with my father and bro. due to the case which is about 1 year ago le ba.. wack my neighbour thing la..stupid de la.. i waited at police station for like 3 hrs to see the stupid police to tell me i get warning for 12 month.. with a stupid attidue then i am pissed of for the dae.. really pissed off... then went to hospital got to wait again.. dunno wat is my nurse so busy about... maybe i was just not in the mood la.. she talk to me i also nv say much her jokes not funny... sorry...
then went to see the doc, gave me 1 injection one each knee.. fucking pain.. then got to lie on the bed for 2 hrs before i can go.. so wait again ba...

reached home damn sian and pissed off..
actually i am really grate and gald tt u talk to me... ia m sorry tt i am still in tt mood.. my temper have been going from bad to worst le... gettitng pissed off easily nowadae... now is alot better le after long long talk with cum.. from like 12mn to 6 in the morning..lolz
dunno wat to say.. but i cannot see facebook all the time, i am just nobody to u but i care.. please let me know...
i really dunno wat had gotten into me for this few daes..
cannot get to slp and work problem come in...
haiz...
drink lots of coffee and drink to keep myself working.
talking to chunyip and ping really helps.. thanks bros...
sorry but i really cannot do the way u all ask to..=)
but then i have clear my mind just now wahile walking at jp...
i really stupid stupid me, sorry sorry for gifing u tt attitude.
once again tml is mondae..
later got to go back camp.. another stupid 5 daes..
onli looking forward to weekend...
last week pass really fast ba.. but enjoyed, dun even feel tired even thought i was like busy??
haha.. FIRST OF ALL

HAPPY BIRTHDAE TO GERALDINE LEE...

haha.. ya i had given the present to her really hope tt she like it. cause i tried new things instead of just buying.
haha like the walking bear. search for it high and low for like 6 months, onlne, oversea, shop cannot find it.
lucky to be finally found at marine square arcade. those grabing machine, whcih i nv play b4.
haha but then make tt effort to try cause i need it badly, haha. lots of ppl looking at me la..it not like play once then got it le... tt 40 mins there grabbing feel like 3 years there. then i can even sweat when it's ar-con palce and not moving at all.haha
cumber knows this feeling too cause after me is him.. haha but diff things.

find liqour store for tt 3l martell was hard too.. but ttt wat i wan..lolz. 21 lei.. wothout something tt can stunt ppl is like not fair. haha

then goes the flower. sad lo.. the auntie still disturb me.. say 1st time buy flower ar? so shy meh? still ask about my age lo.. say i 22 liao nv gif flower b4 meh.. wth de auntie..nvm i still happy with the flower she sell it to me.. haha even thought she is stunt by my order. such a big order.haha 21 flower...hahaha
bits and pieces of thing here and there but i feel tt everything i do is worth it.
just by looking at her smile when the dae the event held. =)

still got to say thanks you to her for letting me to be a part of her important step in her life.. THANKS YOU!!!

P.S not just 5 years.. it will still goes on and on..=)
suddenly i just think of 28 july 2004..haha
tt dae i tell myself lots of stuffs...
from tt dae to todae i done alot of stupid things along the way..
but i learn from ppl.. listen and now i am here..
haha.. looking back is funny...
where else.. i dun see me losing those important ppl around me...
ppl maybe just be a bypasser in my life..but then all these ppl build me from bits and pieces..
i know things i do ppl may not agree.. but i know tt there r ppl standing by me..
i know whu they are and i really wan them to know whu u really r..
i tried to help u all as much as possible but forgive me if i did it the wrong way or it is not within my abilitly to..
i ain't no superman.. but
i choke chong hwee here...
with just one message or phonecall..
i will do my best either to be there or try to help things out or talk to u about facts, even finding ppl tt can help u within my range..or by my own ways...=)
so actually there is nth for u all to hide from me.. i am not tt bad ba... hope ppl will tell the truth... thanks you very much..
i cherish all the ppl being in my life now or past even future.. THANKS YOU!
yo.. back here... as always it's been a long time. lots of things happened.

chinese new year when back... was very stunt when i got the message when i was about to come back.
back then i was like hoping to see the message.. haha 1 week lei.. go there kena suay like dunno wat... ask me this ask me tt.. even ask when i going to give birth to let other paly.. crazy enough..haha

after tt back le went marina square with ping cum and his ber. done something so pia seh lo... first time in my life sia... wat to do??? the thing can onli be found there nearest to wat i wan le...haha

then something make me feel sian and heart sunken... is my bro bear.. he called me so happily really so happy.. i nv hear him so happy b4 even when his gf agree to marry him.. but then sorry bro u know tt is not the case.. sorry tt my effort doesn't make it there. sorry tt i mislead u.. sorry to let u drop down from such a high mood tt i nv see b4.. sorry..

then come my army... work work and work...
ya.. i went for my pes status check on tue.. i got no more high blood pressure and heart problem le... hahah glad to hear tt... i request to up my pes to become combat fit so tt i can slim down by the harsh way. but they still need my doc report. which is tml..i have ask my doc not to give my leg report... he didn't really say ok.. but just hope he do it my way.. just trying to look for my motivevation somewhere there... tt all thx
long time nv come back here..
now i am in ns le...
boring lo.. onli work like 5 months and i am the 2ic of my dep le..
the sian part is i do so many things and i am onli getting 400 per month... sian..

nth much ba...
this year dunno is a bad year or wat??
lot of ppl breaking up or quarrel or watever la.. alot of stunts come out...
and sio ba too..
she not bad can make me so angry de... wth..
even my "bro" also DONE something not gd at ALL....another wth...
but u lucky she dun let me do lo...
u idiot.. dunno wat u thinking de la..haiz...

lucky she got her friend around... wth... dun talk about tt de la..
and stop destroying my effort... 5 and a half year le ok....

ZZZzzz
i have been think y does ppl in this world got so much to worry got so much to think.
so much happen in relationship and life?
does heaven really wan to paly on us or does we make our fate?
cause alex is having relatioship, family and money issues. and i can't even do a single thing to help him feel better.

and i here have realtionship or no. is one sided ship lolz. i was wondering y when she is just a normal friend to me i got to worry so much thinking so much. and her ONE sms will like bring my happiness lvl up over 100%. just like wat ping say when we were working we keep looking into phone whu are we acctually thinking of??
when she ignore me, first i dunno wat have i done wrong. second can i have the reasons for the ignore?. lastly y i am feeling so really down? even alex can see it.

and then here is army. i am going in next mon.
and i also dunno la army is stressing me too... haiz

next is my study.. i really regret y i can't even finished my poly if not i no need to stress so much and wait for my army to finished and i can go to germany and study my uni. now i got to wake up every mon to fri 5a.m to study online class with them.it really stress me lots. cause i can't slp i need to listen to wat the prof say. and then got to do my tutorial and hand in by 4.30p.m everydae and tt the time i wake up..haiz. somemore tyhere is company tt sponser my study but wanting me to work there 8 very years. even thought the pay is really high. 11k pound even month plus house and car inclulded. but i got to gif up so much things. i dunno i am really really stress out. my bros say go lo. when they free they will go over is for my future. but to me i really hate gifing things up.. haiz

i am really stress out... i go read on my note b4 i start my class at 5.
heee... i just back home no long... haha.. i feel really happy todae..
not cause by ppl.. is by myself...
cause for 5 years todae is and one dae le.. cause ytd nv update..=X haha
thinking back all the stupid things i have done... haha.
but u are still there standing first out of anyone... haha.
i also dunno y i nv change in a way..=)
nv felt this happy....=)
wwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. haha
sian ar sian. dunno why i am more sian then ever.. first my dad keep nagging about the statement tt i am going to gif on thurs. which is why my mouth got 1 scar. sian and another thing which the about 90% tt it makes me feel sian is tt, dunno why i have this very very strong feelings tt i stand nowhere in ur heart, dun say ur heart i think even brain. i will not cross the path of ur thinking. tt is my feelings and this is the very first time i felt. heart just sank. even when bear just call to say hi. i was like so cool to him. even he knows tt i am tihnking about u. but maybe is tt he with me too long le ba.. forget it.. =) bye and my pay rise..which should be happy but i am not....
haha long time since i blogged.. very very long sia. march to now is like 3 months.hahaa opps. dunno wat to write la. haha.

just wan to say i am injuried haha.. my lips is broken now. the doc wanna stich me but i dun wan. i afraid of noodle and stuff la. pain lei.

cause i fight with my neighbour.haha lame story la.. haha.
now mc for 3 daes dunno wan to do wat. cannot even go work.. wtfZZZzzzzzz
now the time is 4.25a.m i am suppose to be slping due to my mum cause she wan me to go and pray later in the morning but i going out at 6a.m..
todae is a special dae for choke cause of this very best friend so call the first best friend he have in his life but then he end he life on this very dae 10 years ago 1998 when both of them was 10 years old.
actually up to now no knows actually knows much about this cuse is very specal to choke. on this very dae 10 years ago choke changes.
choke was a very timid and talk big boy when he was young. this friend he knows from K2 name garren keng plays with him, darren was a running boy run here and there and like tracksand feild and all the camps in pri sch. he si the same calss as choke all the way. choke treat him better then his ow bro. listen to him and everything he says mean alot to choke. choke join basketball and he join track and feild. they talk alot togther shared their dreams. but until this very dae 10 years ago, in corporation pri i was 4.40p.m choke was having his training so is garen and he is trying for javalin. thengarren was so happy he throw the javalin and it fflew quite far without wasiting he run for his javalin tt landed a distance away. and he teacher throw the javalin without notice him. and just as choke look by right infront of his eyes the javalin pierce through his body. choke ran there seeing al blood and garren was not moving at all. tt when choke really cry and feel his heart pain till now.
choke rmb this " when i grow up i wan to be an engineer, i wan to go outwads bound and have lot of camp and advanture i wan to throw javalin like how pro throw so far"
favourite waords of all tme"nomatter wat smile"
Till todae...
after not coming online for so long.. i come to write something..haha..
actually got nth to type also..
just for inspiration u can see this video..
http://www.sgclub.com/singapore/nick_vujicic_105690.html
u will understand.. how ever i don't..
to say really i understanding tt he is trying so hard to stand up and continue walking with limbs...
but y ppl with limbs like ppl is like rotting of their life....
i dun quite understand even after i see the video..
now i have totally no aim in my life..
no goals.. goals have been taken away from me by noone but myself...
cause nth will happen without a cause...tt wat i belives in..
and when there is no pain there will no be no gain..
somemore i feel so strange cause i just wake up and i am here to type this kind of i dunno wat.... haha...

btw i having my driving test on 19 dec haha.. 13-14 zoukout working 16 i wan to change phone to LG KS20 =)..then 19 TP like so busy ar... 20 my younger bro birthdae... haha.. dun care..lolz..

ok i go back to play games le... cya
firstly it have been so long since i am back here...

secondly really alots of things have changed... not to say the worst of all that i haven been thinking really came...

lastly my attitude have gone from worse to worst.. like tt dae.. bear call me got pro at st james there... i was so bad mood tt i go there without thinking i just wack those guys... i didn't even listen which wat i always will do first.. then i just ask bear send me back... even bear is stunt. my 11 bros have been tiring to contact me.. i will answer but with the bad attitude... sorry bros is not i dun wan to share with u.. i i dun even have the courage to face u all.. i know how much u all have done for me and tt why... i really dun even know whu i am le...

even todae.. went to play bb with si ping they all.. there come tong lin if not wrong... i know he always paly rough with elblow all those..todae he was with me the same tteam all tyhe time i also dunno y.. after i seen he eblow si ping in my brain was all fire.. therefore u will see me inside the red circle cause when i am in i dun think he will do things..even time change team i wan to be opp wit hhim but.. dunno la... dun let me have the chance is all i can sae....

haiz really la.. choke is no more choke... i think i can have the same name as bo yan.."zombie"...

was home the whole day.. cause i was forced to take off.. i have over 40 daes off... and just nice todae i dun have any task in hand so my boss forced me to take off.. haha..
but an off dae is not east to pass man...
even thought i slept at 1 ytd...and wake up at 12 todae..is the longest i have slpet.. but i keep waking up in the middle... i dun feel like i have take the 11 hrs slp...
haha.. nvm
the later part of the day i was making phone call here and there...
settle the ppl in bangkok... bo bian asked them for a big flavour... still got to talk more to make them happy and willing to help me...
heee actually i came here is because while i was surfing aimlessly on the web i found this...

The problem stemmed from a difference in approach. To many men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. Mark thought he was reassuring Eve by telling her there was something she could do about her scar. But often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions.

When my mother tells my father she doesn't feel well, he invariably offers to take her to the doctor. Invariably, she is disappointed with his reaction. Like many men, he is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy.

i am just like a normal man, telling the solution, however after looking at these i kind of like understand why i keep getting the reply SIAN.. or something same.. but i dunno wat to text back.. kind of need to read more ba.. haha or someone can tell me???? heee
todae every shit tt can fall on a person fall on me..
ytd nite.. first step into this shit dae...
i dream of myself dead.. in my own funereal, onli got godpa, bear, alfread, gamer, phyco, ite and chunyip.
not even my family is there.. is like i also dunno wat to say it just wake me u at 2 when i start to slp at 12.30.
nvm then come second one.. cannot get to slp so prepare for my mock test. then wat i study did not come out for the test.. sian liao lo... after then result come back 60%.. wth...
also nvm.. next... go out to ns.. take lift until downstair forget to bring ez-link card... go back take.. then in lift see one siao uncle.. knn smoke in lift.. ccb..
nvm... then go busstop.. wait for 240 wait fucking long...
nvm... then got on bus find a sit, sat down.. one auntie brought laska on bus packet one.. dunno whu will wan to eat laska early the the morning sia... then cause bus pack she sit beside me.. then got one uncle push until her hand.. her laska fall then kena my shoe and jeans... early in the morning...
nvm... reach jp faster go toilet wash... then toliet got ppl shit.. fucking smelly...
nvm... then went to take camp bus.. just saw the bus.. it went off.. i am late liao lo..
nvm... go camp.. first thing late kena fuck
nvm... hope the other will be ok.. then coem call me here and there knn.
nvm... when i doing secret with my friend, maj call.. ask the guy doing with u malay ar? i say yes.. he say malay canot touch secret.. WTH.. then ask e everything do myself..
nvm.. i do... do for like very 10 min he call me do this do that like i very free like tt..
nvm.. then i neeed to rush all this by fri cause mon course start... if not fri i no need go home liao... then he keep adding more workload on me..
nvm.. then forget lunch..
nvm.. wan to buy redbull... sold out...
nvm.. forget it go back my room do.... air-con spoil....knn
nvm.. end up and with lots of paper and pen knife cuts..
nvm.. do until 5 thoguht can go home rest awhile... then sir see me say choke.. edwin mess up the AIOC returning of books... help him out.. wth.. meaning i stay back to help...
nvm.. then all the sir all look for me give me all sort of stupid reason for missing books and lost pages...
nvm.. finally can go home.. changed.. wan to step out of office... another student coem gif me shit...
nvm.. do lo.. walk out of sdc.. nvm tuck in shirt.. kena from warrant officer cb...
nvm.. walk cross sdc... door closed...
nvm.. walk one big round.. reach busstop get on the bus no ppl... press the bell..uncle dun wan stop de lei...passed one busstop...
nvm.. i walk back.. while walking to shuinan house downstair de busstop.. dunno how i kick one stupid stone and fall down..
nvm.. saw the busstop missed 99... and ping in the bus too...
nvm.. reach home wan use com.. both com bro use..
nvm.. then wan to eat dinner whole dae nv eat.. mum cook all those i dun like one..
nvm.. go bath.. fall down in bathroom..
nvm.. sit down dun wan move.. father scolding me y nv help mum do this do tt...
after allt his shit happen just in a dae.. u think is this a dae???
todae is a really dunno wat dae???
i 'm confused here.. really..
am i wrong??? wrong pls tell me... someone
fucking scold me or wat... tell me i'm in wrong..
really felt useless...
first time trying my really best to help but i still failed!
waking up at 7 just to go down to alfred house to wear my business suit. where i dun touch it at all...
then when down damn early when i am suppose to meet him at 9.. reach at 8...
while waiting think of all the things i can say to him..
however he keep wanting me to join his sch.. wtf la... first i dun study their courses.
second why is it tt u got space for me and her when u dun have space for her??? bulllshit la....
talk to him for 1 and a half hours.. still can't.. then he got to leave... and it's start pouring... get on a cab get to alfred house the way from the road to his house. i was really down... drench in the pouring rain.. feeling so heavy like nv before...
really felt very bad...
haiz....

i thought after this i can rest welll... cause for the whole week i have nv slpet for more than 3 hrs a dae... somemore was sick on mondae got to go hospital in the nite...

somemore on wed i'm going for operation on my knees... there is onli 75% success rate.. i dunno how.. but i think i will take it... haiz.. can't seem to slp... haiz
i dunno y i felt like this but i am,
feeling tt i have done something wrong by look at ur reply..
i i know u r very tired...
or maybe is me whu thinks too much..
i have been trying to help to think of ways to help.. but i still cannot get the solution and i haven told u , and tt wat i scared. u going to be sina and cannot sleep well..
tt the reason y i dun wan to tell u i am sick too..
but i know is ping whu tell u i dun blame him cause he know how much u mean to me.
i'm just blaming myself tt i am useless.. now my left arm is like totally no strength.. sian.. and i stil got things to help in.. i afraid tt this will failed and i dun wan it to fail..
back home..
just feel like blogging..
nth much even thought in my brain i think there is aleast a hundred things i wan to blog about..
but firstly is my keyboard is giving me problems... i got to retype the word dunno how any times then it get corrected...
but i dun think i will blog everything out since no pl will actually look at these..
i think???

actually wat i wan to blog about is just one thing...
i just wan u to live happy with ur life...
not worrying about wat ppl think even me..
cause wat ever u do as long as it make sense and u dun regret it.. practically i dun object or say nag to u..
as long as u think about it..
tt wat i always hope for you..

i dun think i will blog about other stuff ba...
kind of relief feeling come into me these few dae.. so ok ba.
ppl please get plenty of rest...
dun fall sick...
is in GOOD MOOD TODAE...
still ok la... haha.. even thought i was just studying..
even thought form next week onward i got to wake up at 4.30 everydae to study...
but ytd i was happy.. i get to see ur face in close range again.. even though it is something i shouldn't do..
just to put it simply.. I"M HAPPPY CAUSE OF U~~ lala
wake up with just 3 hrs of slp but not feeling tired lol..

had a strange dream just now... meet her but lost my army secret stuff.. army too stress le ba.. lolz

this week kind of like blur blur to pass ba..

from mondae dunno y head had been spinning until ytd.. eating dunno how many panodol a dae, dun really rmb things.. super short term memory..

then wed morning went for my trainning safty officer course which last 3 day..
wed morning still okok.. until about lunch time ping call me, where i am not suppose to use my phone. he say urgent in sms so i pick up. during my break, whu know he pop this kind of news to me.. but then wat i can say, not tt i dun wan to care is tt without him telling me.. i will be the last person on earth to know ba..
but still i called. when the call is not answer i was like an ant on a hot pot. dunno wat to do. go back to class with my phone on, it rang and i just pick it up.
my sir look so stunt at me but after i hang up i kena scold until like dunno wat... plus tt dae the test i got onli 56% when i always get 90 and above...

wed i dunno how i walk but almost fall down twice in just 5 min time.

thurs was like hell of a great spin.. head was really in pain and spinning around but is till got to go for the course.. but aleast i get 64% this time around but still i kena scold...

fri.. nv go for course cause going to the police station. but i take the test early in the morning i spend my time reading on it on thurs nite. finally manage to get a 92%... so sir is still happy about it.. then i went to the police station with my father and bro. due to the case which is about 1 year ago le ba.. wack my neighbour thing la..stupid de la.. i waited at police station for like 3 hrs to see the stupid police to tell me i get warning for 12 month.. with a stupid attidue then i am pissed of for the dae.. really pissed off... then went to hospital got to wait again.. dunno wat is my nurse so busy about... maybe i was just not in the mood la.. she talk to me i also nv say much her jokes not funny... sorry...
then went to see the doc, gave me 1 injection one each knee.. fucking pain.. then got to lie on the bed for 2 hrs before i can go.. so wait again ba...

reached home damn sian and pissed off..
actually i am really grate and gald tt u talk to me... ia m sorry tt i am still in tt mood.. my temper have been going from bad to worst le... gettitng pissed off easily nowadae... now is alot better le after long long talk with cum.. from like 12mn to 6 in the morning..lolz
dunno wat to say.. but i cannot see facebook all the time, i am just nobody to u but i care.. please let me know...
i really dunno wat had gotten into me for this few daes..
cannot get to slp and work problem come in...
haiz...
drink lots of coffee and drink to keep myself working.
talking to chunyip and ping really helps.. thanks bros...
sorry but i really cannot do the way u all ask to..=)
but then i have clear my mind just now wahile walking at jp...
i really stupid stupid me, sorry sorry for gifing u tt attitude.
once again tml is mondae..
later got to go back camp.. another stupid 5 daes..
onli looking forward to weekend...
last week pass really fast ba.. but enjoyed, dun even feel tired even thought i was like busy??
haha.. FIRST OF ALL

HAPPY BIRTHDAE TO GERALDINE LEE...

haha.. ya i had given the present to her really hope tt she like it. cause i tried new things instead of just buying.
haha like the walking bear. search for it high and low for like 6 months, onlne, oversea, shop cannot find it.
lucky to be finally found at marine square arcade. those grabing machine, whcih i nv play b4.
haha but then make tt effort to try cause i need it badly, haha. lots of ppl looking at me la..it not like play once then got it le... tt 40 mins there grabbing feel like 3 years there. then i can even sweat when it's ar-con palce and not moving at all.haha
cumber knows this feeling too cause after me is him.. haha but diff things.

find liqour store for tt 3l martell was hard too.. but ttt wat i wan..lolz. 21 lei.. wothout something tt can stunt ppl is like not fair. haha

then goes the flower. sad lo.. the auntie still disturb me.. say 1st time buy flower ar? so shy meh? still ask about my age lo.. say i 22 liao nv gif flower b4 meh.. wth de auntie..nvm i still happy with the flower she sell it to me.. haha even thought she is stunt by my order. such a big order.haha 21 flower...hahaha
bits and pieces of thing here and there but i feel tt everything i do is worth it.
just by looking at her smile when the dae the event held. =)

still got to say thanks you to her for letting me to be a part of her important step in her life.. THANKS YOU!!!

P.S not just 5 years.. it will still goes on and on..=)
suddenly i just think of 28 july 2004..haha
tt dae i tell myself lots of stuffs...
from tt dae to todae i done alot of stupid things along the way..
but i learn from ppl.. listen and now i am here..
haha.. looking back is funny...
where else.. i dun see me losing those important ppl around me...
ppl maybe just be a bypasser in my life..but then all these ppl build me from bits and pieces..
i know things i do ppl may not agree.. but i know tt there r ppl standing by me..
i know whu they are and i really wan them to know whu u really r..
i tried to help u all as much as possible but forgive me if i did it the wrong way or it is not within my abilitly to..
i ain't no superman.. but
i choke chong hwee here...
with just one message or phonecall..
i will do my best either to be there or try to help things out or talk to u about facts, even finding ppl tt can help u within my range..or by my own ways...=)
so actually there is nth for u all to hide from me.. i am not tt bad ba... hope ppl will tell the truth... thanks you very much..
i cherish all the ppl being in my life now or past even future.. THANKS YOU!
yo.. back here... as always it's been a long time. lots of things happened.

chinese new year when back... was very stunt when i got the message when i was about to come back.
back then i was like hoping to see the message.. haha 1 week lei.. go there kena suay like dunno wat... ask me this ask me tt.. even ask when i going to give birth to let other paly.. crazy enough..haha

after tt back le went marina square with ping cum and his ber. done something so pia seh lo... first time in my life sia... wat to do??? the thing can onli be found there nearest to wat i wan le...haha

then something make me feel sian and heart sunken... is my bro bear.. he called me so happily really so happy.. i nv hear him so happy b4 even when his gf agree to marry him.. but then sorry bro u know tt is not the case.. sorry tt my effort doesn't make it there. sorry tt i mislead u.. sorry to let u drop down from such a high mood tt i nv see b4.. sorry..

then come my army... work work and work...
ya.. i went for my pes status check on tue.. i got no more high blood pressure and heart problem le... hahah glad to hear tt... i request to up my pes to become combat fit so tt i can slim down by the harsh way. but they still need my doc report. which is tml..i have ask my doc not to give my leg report... he didn't really say ok.. but just hope he do it my way.. just trying to look for my motivevation somewhere there... tt all thx
long time nv come back here..
now i am in ns le...
boring lo.. onli work like 5 months and i am the 2ic of my dep le..
the sian part is i do so many things and i am onli getting 400 per month... sian..

nth much ba...
this year dunno is a bad year or wat??
lot of ppl breaking up or quarrel or watever la.. alot of stunts come out...
and sio ba too..
she not bad can make me so angry de... wth..
even my "bro" also DONE something not gd at ALL....another wth...
but u lucky she dun let me do lo...
u idiot.. dunno wat u thinking de la..haiz...

lucky she got her friend around... wth... dun talk about tt de la..
and stop destroying my effort... 5 and a half year le ok....

ZZZzzz
i have been think y does ppl in this world got so much to worry got so much to think.
so much happen in relationship and life?
does heaven really wan to paly on us or does we make our fate?
cause alex is having relatioship, family and money issues. and i can't even do a single thing to help him feel better.

and i here have realtionship or no. is one sided ship lolz. i was wondering y when she is just a normal friend to me i got to worry so much thinking so much. and her ONE sms will like bring my happiness lvl up over 100%. just like wat ping say when we were working we keep looking into phone whu are we acctually thinking of??
when she ignore me, first i dunno wat have i done wrong. second can i have the reasons for the ignore?. lastly y i am feeling so really down? even alex can see it.

and then here is army. i am going in next mon.
and i also dunno la army is stressing me too... haiz

next is my study.. i really regret y i can't even finished my poly if not i no need to stress so much and wait for my army to finished and i can go to germany and study my uni. now i got to wake up every mon to fri 5a.m to study online class with them.it really stress me lots. cause i can't slp i need to listen to wat the prof say. and then got to do my tutorial and hand in by 4.30p.m everydae and tt the time i wake up..haiz. somemore tyhere is company tt sponser my study but wanting me to work there 8 very years. even thought the pay is really high. 11k pound even month plus house and car inclulded. but i got to gif up so much things. i dunno i am really really stress out. my bros say go lo. when they free they will go over is for my future. but to me i really hate gifing things up.. haiz

i am really stress out... i go read on my note b4 i start my class at 5.
heee... i just back home no long... haha.. i feel really happy todae..
not cause by ppl.. is by myself...
cause for 5 years todae is and one dae le.. cause ytd nv update..=X haha
thinking back all the stupid things i have done... haha.
but u are still there standing first out of anyone... haha.
i also dunno y i nv change in a way..=)
nv felt this happy....=)
wwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. haha
sian ar sian. dunno why i am more sian then ever.. first my dad keep nagging about the statement tt i am going to gif on thurs. which is why my mouth got 1 scar. sian and another thing which the about 90% tt it makes me feel sian is tt, dunno why i have this very very strong feelings tt i stand nowhere in ur heart, dun say ur heart i think even brain. i will not cross the path of ur thinking. tt is my feelings and this is the very first time i felt. heart just sank. even when bear just call to say hi. i was like so cool to him. even he knows tt i am tihnking about u. but maybe is tt he with me too long le ba.. forget it.. =) bye and my pay rise..which should be happy but i am not....
haha long time since i blogged.. very very long sia. march to now is like 3 months.hahaa opps. dunno wat to write la. haha.

just wan to say i am injuried haha.. my lips is broken now. the doc wanna stich me but i dun wan. i afraid of noodle and stuff la. pain lei.

cause i fight with my neighbour.haha lame story la.. haha.
now mc for 3 daes dunno wan to do wat. cannot even go work.. wtfZZZzzzzzz
now the time is 4.25a.m i am suppose to be slping due to my mum cause she wan me to go and pray later in the morning but i going out at 6a.m..
todae is a special dae for choke cause of this very best friend so call the first best friend he have in his life but then he end he life on this very dae 10 years ago 1998 when both of them was 10 years old.
actually up to now no knows actually knows much about this cuse is very specal to choke. on this very dae 10 years ago choke changes.
choke was a very timid and talk big boy when he was young. this friend he knows from K2 name garren keng plays with him, darren was a running boy run here and there and like tracksand feild and all the camps in pri sch. he si the same calss as choke all the way. choke treat him better then his ow bro. listen to him and everything he says mean alot to choke. choke join basketball and he join track and feild. they talk alot togther shared their dreams. but until this very dae 10 years ago, in corporation pri i was 4.40p.m choke was having his training so is garen and he is trying for javalin. thengarren was so happy he throw the javalin and it fflew quite far without wasiting he run for his javalin tt landed a distance away. and he teacher throw the javalin without notice him. and just as choke look by right infront of his eyes the javalin pierce through his body. choke ran there seeing al blood and garren was not moving at all. tt when choke really cry and feel his heart pain till now.
choke rmb this " when i grow up i wan to be an engineer, i wan to go outwads bound and have lot of camp and advanture i wan to throw javalin like how pro throw so far"
favourite waords of all tme"nomatter wat smile"
Till todae...
after not coming online for so long.. i come to write something..haha..
actually got nth to type also..
just for inspiration u can see this video..
http://www.sgclub.com/singapore/nick_vujicic_105690.html
u will understand.. how ever i don't..
to say really i understanding tt he is trying so hard to stand up and continue walking with limbs...
but y ppl with limbs like ppl is like rotting of their life....
i dun quite understand even after i see the video..
now i have totally no aim in my life..
no goals.. goals have been taken away from me by noone but myself...
cause nth will happen without a cause...tt wat i belives in..
and when there is no pain there will no be no gain..
somemore i feel so strange cause i just wake up and i am here to type this kind of i dunno wat.... haha...

btw i having my driving test on 19 dec haha.. 13-14 zoukout working 16 i wan to change phone to LG KS20 =)..then 19 TP like so busy ar... 20 my younger bro birthdae... haha.. dun care..lolz..

ok i go back to play games le... cya
firstly it have been so long since i am back here...

secondly really alots of things have changed... not to say the worst of all that i haven been thinking really came...

lastly my attitude have gone from worse to worst.. like tt dae.. bear call me got pro at st james there... i was so bad mood tt i go there without thinking i just wack those guys... i didn't even listen which wat i always will do first.. then i just ask bear send me back... even bear is stunt. my 11 bros have been tiring to contact me.. i will answer but with the bad attitude... sorry bros is not i dun wan to share with u.. i i dun even have the courage to face u all.. i know how much u all have done for me and tt why... i really dun even know whu i am le...

even todae.. went to play bb with si ping they all.. there come tong lin if not wrong... i know he always paly rough with elblow all those..todae he was with me the same tteam all tyhe time i also dunno y.. after i seen he eblow si ping in my brain was all fire.. therefore u will see me inside the red circle cause when i am in i dun think he will do things..even time change team i wan to be opp wit hhim but.. dunno la... dun let me have the chance is all i can sae....

haiz really la.. choke is no more choke... i think i can have the same name as bo yan.."zombie"...

Choke Chong Hwee...
HaRpEr
DeAtHkNiGhT
Alot of nick names..
08081988
started to protect. om 28 july =)
Choker8@hotmail.com
CPS=>BLSS=>NP(ME)=>Army
LeO
DrAgOn
SaMsUnG L760
LaMer
NiTe CaTs
RoTtEr
BrO To EnD
LoNeR
DrInKeR
BaRTeNdEr
BaLlEr


designed by: dreamwalker
powered by: blogger

Get your own countUP at BlingyBlob.com Normal | Bold | Strikeout | Italic | Underline | Link | big | small

no wider than 510px.

» my nose sucks now...running like fuck..i think is ...
» i am here to rattle again...i just feel like i pas...
» really a long time since i came back here..erm... ...
» the week isn't any good week,somehow like the wors...
» this time is really a long time since i had blog.....
» sorry bro nv see ur post la...too lazy to comment ...
» Bro, you should know the aim of us here.we know bi...
» i got nth to do here so i came here rmb tt i have ...
» ROGER! Bro rmb the things i tell u.left her to us ...
» bro like wat i said ytd..safety is my main concern...

» July 2005
» August 2005
» September 2005
» October 2005
» November 2005
» December 2005
» January 2006
» February 2006
» March 2006
» April 2006
» May 2006
» June 2006
» July 2006
» August 2006
» September 2006
» October 2006
» November 2006
» December 2006
» January 2007
» February 2007
» March 2007
» April 2007
» May 2007
» June 2007
» July 2007
» August 2007
» September 2007
» October 2007
» November 2007
» December 2007
» January 2008
» February 2008
» March 2008
» April 2008
» May 2008
» June 2008
» July 2008
» August 2008
» September 2008
» November 2008
» March 2009
» June 2009
» July 2009
» September 2009
» February 2010
» March 2010
» April 2010
» May 2010
» June 2010
» July 2010
» August 2010
» September 2010
» October 2010
» November 2010
» December 2010
» January 2011
» March 2011
» April 2011
» May 2011
» July 2011
» January 2012
» February 2012

» GeraldinE >>

This layout was created by sagacity and is highly inspired by doughnutcrazy. The icon used in the profile section can be found at jagged smiles. The poem is called "A Cure from Nature." I don't know the author of the poem. Please use MOZILLA FIREFOX when viewing this layout/blog. Use a 1280x800px screen for best results.