feel better after sweating out...
been quite long since then...

these few daes ppl around me suddenly ask this qns.." Choke, how can u act like nth happen or even smile when u know something is not right somewhere?"

say really if i dun smile or make fun of myself or wat.. i will breakdown..
i ain't no superman or heartless..
i rather face it my way...

afternoon called bear they all...
kind of like get scolded...
but watever they wan to say i understand..
they know me too well... bear and alfred..

tml will be fridae... i dunno wat i will do..
actually todae i got nth to do at work.. just slack
other then the force of sir asking me to change my citizen to singapore..
sian lo...

after tt.. i really wan to thanks uncle wee...
thanks for talking to me once again...
telling me wat to do so...
but i am still confuse....
like wat you say... i am someone whu dun like to listen to wat ppl say about rather get the facts myself.....
but the fact now i see is all bad.. nth gd..
not being angry or sad or emo..
but say really y do i have to go through this??

and for the hair cut too...
now i got a very kid haircut.. cause i am always a kid in his eyes..
the way he talk and act infront of me... is better than my own father...
able to make me speak is not easy.. i know..

for those whu dunno... uncle wee is my godfather father onli hairdresser..
he is 86 this year...
gd man...

i think.. y think so much when i know is him...
got to think for my own study le ba... 1 and a half year to go...
and then "bye"

bros.. without u all my alcohol cell gone liao la...
and i wan it back....
i wan to go eat with u all..
i wan the laugher... i miss them...=(
bro u win liao la..
now she dun frenz me liao lo..
u good liao lo...

now doing duty..but got to go out soon le.. one guard down.. so i got to stand by him.. got to take care of all the guards..
and i am still sick.. the worst thing is tt tml i got to go for my blood test at nuh.
good job liao lo...
dunno how bad this blood test will be liao...

still alfred u win liao la.....
eh bro so now u think wat??
come my tag box acknowledged relative meh???

todae thought tt i wan slack.. but then tml got to stay in camp then cannot study so todae need to..
study the whoel dae...
until just now went with cum go jurong west eat claypot rice which had been veru long since i went there with bear they all...
its' still nice...
but coem back.. i vomit again... damn sian... sick and tired of myself..
and then tml got to stay in camp sian ar sian...
it had been a rotting sat for me...
doesn't feel like studying or doing anything todae...
so i sit or lie on my sofa for the whole dae...
watch tv and listen to my mp3..
3 plus cum message me.. then he reply at 4 plus asking for tea..
and i wait until 9 he still dun appear at my doorstep for tea..
zzzz.. then ask him to go down dinner as i haven eat yet..
eat until damn full.. but once i reach home same thing happen.. camp in toilet lo..
lolz...
after tt since my father got another lorry back le..
thought of going to pray so i went with ping..
pray for the same thing again..
but once i reach home on my facebook first thing i see..
"i broke my fingernail"...
i was speechless for a moment. it was like 30 mins again i just pray and i come back and see the post was like 20 mins again..
but the next thing come to mind is still is she ok?
hopefully yes ba...
it 2 plus and i am still feeling damn awake...
i think i turning into "god" soon lo.. haha
zzzz i dunno wat happen sia...
whole dae nv eat then just now meet ping to eat...
eat one bowl of fishball noodle also cannot finish...
then finished my teh c.. haha
but i just came back from the toilet..
i just wasted my food.. i vomit everything out.. wtf lo...
sian.. this is one of the sideeffect ba... i think...

just now when i am at home at 7..
i decided to pack my drawer..
see alot of things... include my journal since pri sch..and is like 4 books..\
haha read all of it.. and laughing to myself.. like so stupid.. haha..
throw lots of stuff..
i got birthdae card.. haha.. kept all of them...
i see this birthdae which is on 2007 also the first present she gave me.. lolz...
haha.. then i got this mindset..
i have always been negaitive.. blaming myself even since i was young.. lolz..
haha..

after vomit... now i am hungry again.. but nth to eat.. sian....
tml morning then find cum eat ba.. da sao also there.. hahaha...
funny.. belinda like me to call her da sao.. she damn happy de.. lolz...

got to go study le..
taking bridging exam...
stress!
today is a public holidae.. but to me is just like a normal sat or sun..
since is ph.. i decided not to call melvin.. so he can go out with his gf.. as she is not working todae..
so i take a cab to warehouse todae...
it was so empty and cold...

it was then i realize tt i am not really tt mature as i think..
i feel like like a kid...
i keep looking on the phone..
looking at the door..
hoping someone will come in or my phone will ring...
i feel like a kid who need care and concern..
felt lonely and left aside...
been here the whole dae...
it's about time to go home lo...
back to a place where i rot again...
hey bro... dun worry like wat i always say i not going to die tt easily.. still got 18yrs more..=)

ya.. just like wat alfred say.. my white blood cell is down by 75%...
is something like an AIDS ppl?? haha
prone to all any illness out there...

so now i am down with flu, running nose , headache , cough , insomnia and fever..

i am just walking around at 38.5degree..

got 7 dae mc from camp mo.. but got tonnes of work to do...
so i will still be going back to camp..
cause course starting...

my phone is like no longer call a phone.. is like a alarm... haha
since it like damn free for me... start studying but like nth gets in.. zzzz
thinking of getting 2 more degree during this 2 yrs.. before i go over to get my own engineer degree.. =)...
i'm sorry... i think this is the onli thing tt i can do in my life..

i dun mean ignoring u..
i dun mean i dun wan to know anytihng about u..
i dun mean all tt...

wat i mean is me.... unable to start a conversation...
unable to show the care and concern even as a friend..
i just dunno how to speak up..
dunno how to start off..
onli know how to say sorry..

sorry
Melvin just asked me. why u nv like to smile and always got no emotion on my face ?

just then i think of my very own flaws.

I cannot handle and express emotions..
tt y i choose to have a plain face or nth at all..

btw thanks melvin.. got to spent the nite with me at warehouse.. sorry to take up ur time..
so wat if i can study now???
i just lose the meaning of life...

the mind and heart work on a diff line...

why i can just start a conversation?
always is the other whu start..
i dunno, i'm lost...
i got got 2 emails..
first is my full result of my this term uni...
Prof Eng Math AD
Prof Blue Print AD
Prof Aerodynamic AD
Prof Mechdynamic Part I/IV AD
Prof Cruise Engine Part I/IV AD

plus this:
Student CHOKE CHONG HWEE S8828299Z, an oversea student in UOB, achieved TOP SCHOLAR OF THE YEAR and BEST FRESHMEN AWARD.

next is..
CHOKE CHONG HWEE S8828299Z HAD BEEN ACCEPTED IN TO BACH OF COMMERCE IN UNI OF NORTHERN IOWA. AS AN OVERSEA ONLINE CLASS STUDENTS.
sat came...
another slpless nite for me...
wat got into me i dunno..message text but the send button not press..
cooling down?
dun think so.. it's like killing myself..blocking off from everything..
staying in warehouse just to hide..
wonder to myself y am i doing this...
i can't answer...
whu will???
i wonder on...
back to me le...
dunno wat is into me nowadaes.
i got this very bad thought in me...
i like ignoring her or trying very hard not to ask her anything... i also dunno myself strange enough..
my health had not been gd cause i cannot slp and i am taking medi for others.. to try out the side effects... tt me.. nv believe in theory and onli believe it when it happen to me... then kena scold le lo...
i just read stats and commerce book.. hard enough.. aleast for me ba...
strange me... nvm.. hope this feeling will be gone ba....
ok alfred stop these...
u know me very well and u also know i dun say all these..
whether i have done all those or not doesn't matter..
it's on free will bro...
i not doing all these for pity or watever....
so dun say le..
i do wat i think i need to.. doesn't mean it had to be known...
thanks..
HI ppl, this is alfred here, not choke.
cause we all know his password.

Here for you all to know and for us to tell u about choke.

he is not online so he must be researching about her report now. either at home or at warehouse.

Choke is just a 22 years old guy who doesn't think like a 22 year old. his thinking is very strange, all his mind is all bros, family and of course her.

He dunno how to express what he has in his mind. the only expression he can do it out very well is anger. Do not make him angry he will go crazy.

He may be just a 22 years old guy but he one the so call "leader" of our group of brothers and the youngest. He can handle things really well, talked to us , play with us. Make decision for each and everyone of us. Give us advice and concern. take care of us really well. All of us look up to him. shared everything with us.

we know every inch of him that why we are here to update you people about him.

First, he is a very family guy, actually he can move off of his small little 3 room house now. He has the very ability to leave elsewhere or even go overseas to live. but for his family to respect them he is still there. he hide everything from his family, that include us, his study , his work and alot more. He never wants his family to worry about him, what ever problem he get himself in or other get it for him, he will never bring it home.

Next, he never leave brothers out, he always help us in tons of ways. He will get really angry if you say things that hurt us.

and of course her, maybe you dunno what he had done for you. He never like to ask for help from anyone. but for you he break this, every single things that can hurts u in a way or another he will always try to clear them out, without getting into your life. Try to set your holiday trip really safe for you. I think the recent one you show know, but did you know that since he like you, your every oversea trip, he himself will go to the place you will be going and check that whole area? include your family trip. Actually what ever you had study he will knows, cause like your poly course, chemical engineering. he will get all the notes that you will be study and read it up first. He is a private student in chemical engineering and he get a GPA of 3.8. now you will be study in PSB and in commerce, i bet with you, he already start reading up all those notes. Just to ensure that when you got any study problems he will be able to help you.

Telling you this is to let you know if u come across. He never like to tell people what he wants and had done for you. let say a small little example, today we all know you are going to collect your iphone4, actually you will not get that phone until the 4th patch of phone come. He went to talk to starhub marketing director to let you have the phone without letting you know, that why will get your phone on this 2nd patch. It's ok no need to thanks him cause i will get scolded when he see this. Just be grateful.

Next is his size, actually he look quite handsome and very style when you see him in suit. we have pictures of him wearing suits that we brought for him cause we always forced him to, if not he will always wear those sloppy shirts he had. actually he doesn't wan him to be fat this way. Do you know he will spend aleast 1 hr daily to train himself. He is a master in akido breathing, he is unable to slim down is actually because when he was learning akido breathing, he broke 3 vein and 2 blood vessels in him, cause this is an ancient tactic which is difficult to learn. He is a fighting master do not look at his cute face thinking that he will not do anything. he can kill a person in just 4 moves. But he learn is just to protect her not just physically and also your name. no one can say bad thing about you, he will just turn nasty, we had seen it lots of times.

Next is money, he may not be appear rich but he is, that is IF he WANTS. He work hard and save up really well. when there is a need for him to help you, he will.

Next is pamper, he is a very independent guy, of course his godfather wan to pamper him but he never want it. He throw lots of those expensive gift in warehouse or with us brothers. He is very afraid of hi godfather pampering "her" too. he actually aleast get over 20 branded limited edition bags for her. but choke keeps all them properly in warehouse. he always say he will get you when the time is right.

that for this time,

sign off
Alfred, Bear, Physco, Tattoo siao, Gamer.
we are all part of his Brother group.
See ya guys.
waiting to meet our DA SAO!
it 3 plus.. and i am still studying the report..
call here and there looking for doc all over the world..
i just wan u to be healthy and happy.. tt all i am asking for..
is it too much???
internet was lag like hell...
maybe cause of the mio just install at home...
i dunno wat to do on a fridae nite...
campmate ask me out.. but reject.. dun feel like going out wit them..

i dunno wat i wan also... haha
i always assume things..
assume this assume tt..
i am be right may be wrong..
but think most of the time i'm wrong ba...
i cannot alwyas depend on other..
i can onli make myself do things then i will feel better..
which is now...
i can onli research more to ensure u r very healthy...
i still got 23 more test report to come back to me..
i go back read up le.=)
me.....
nv wanted to do anything big..
nv wanted to study really well..
nv wanted to stand out in work..
nv wanted to gain everything..
nv wanted to gain respect from anyone..
nv wanted to give anyone trouble..
nv wanted to let ppl pity me

tt why.....
always work extra hard..
always keep myself alone..
always thinks before action..
always plan stuffs before hand..
always do things in the dark without ppl knowing..
always keep a smile..
always remind myself tt whu i am..
always keep myself behind..

maybe tt me..
whu likes to protect ppl in the dark..
whu likes to stay alone and think of you..
whu likes to study or work to wee hours..
whu likes you but dun wan to be with you..

not tt i dun wan to make the step..
i cannot blame it on my char..
i dun blame ppl around me..
i dun blame u at all..

the problems lies in me..
always wat i wan was to see u spend ur life happily..
i know i was wrong to go into ur life with out ur permission..
u dun even know wat i did..
i always know where u r with who and doing wat..
sorry.. it's me whu bang through the privacy of ur life..
i feel bad.. without u telling me or even posting it on facebook..
i knew wat happen..
this is ppl ba..
not everyone around u can be trusted..
tt how the dark side work..
i settle lots of problems just to make sure ppl around u r ok..
but no matter wat i do.. there is always flaws..
but u learn ba..
i cannot just keep u in a box and locked it up..
it hurts me when ever i know something wrong or bad is going on in you..
my extended worries nv go low...
tt me..

ok.. i am someone whu loves you but dare not take the step.. onli dare to look at u from the back while u smile and laugh with others.... tt me~
just back home from camp.. non stop 30 hrs of work for me from ytd morning..
godfather u see ur own la.. can read me big deal meh...zzz i also need to go read up in medi again.. bb.. and dun send dr woo come.. i need i will find him...

feel better after sweating out...
been quite long since then...

these few daes ppl around me suddenly ask this qns.." Choke, how can u act like nth happen or even smile when u know something is not right somewhere?"

say really if i dun smile or make fun of myself or wat.. i will breakdown..
i ain't no superman or heartless..
i rather face it my way...

afternoon called bear they all...
kind of like get scolded...
but watever they wan to say i understand..
they know me too well... bear and alfred..

tml will be fridae... i dunno wat i will do..
actually todae i got nth to do at work.. just slack
other then the force of sir asking me to change my citizen to singapore..
sian lo...

after tt.. i really wan to thanks uncle wee...
thanks for talking to me once again...
telling me wat to do so...
but i am still confuse....
like wat you say... i am someone whu dun like to listen to wat ppl say about rather get the facts myself.....
but the fact now i see is all bad.. nth gd..
not being angry or sad or emo..
but say really y do i have to go through this??

and for the hair cut too...
now i got a very kid haircut.. cause i am always a kid in his eyes..
the way he talk and act infront of me... is better than my own father...
able to make me speak is not easy.. i know..

for those whu dunno... uncle wee is my godfather father onli hairdresser..
he is 86 this year...
gd man...

i think.. y think so much when i know is him...
got to think for my own study le ba... 1 and a half year to go...
and then "bye"

bros.. without u all my alcohol cell gone liao la...
and i wan it back....
i wan to go eat with u all..
i wan the laugher... i miss them...=(
bro u win liao la..
now she dun frenz me liao lo..
u good liao lo...

now doing duty..but got to go out soon le.. one guard down.. so i got to stand by him.. got to take care of all the guards..
and i am still sick.. the worst thing is tt tml i got to go for my blood test at nuh.
good job liao lo...
dunno how bad this blood test will be liao...

still alfred u win liao la.....
eh bro so now u think wat??
come my tag box acknowledged relative meh???

todae thought tt i wan slack.. but then tml got to stay in camp then cannot study so todae need to..
study the whoel dae...
until just now went with cum go jurong west eat claypot rice which had been veru long since i went there with bear they all...
its' still nice...
but coem back.. i vomit again... damn sian... sick and tired of myself..
and then tml got to stay in camp sian ar sian...
it had been a rotting sat for me...
doesn't feel like studying or doing anything todae...
so i sit or lie on my sofa for the whole dae...
watch tv and listen to my mp3..
3 plus cum message me.. then he reply at 4 plus asking for tea..
and i wait until 9 he still dun appear at my doorstep for tea..
zzzz.. then ask him to go down dinner as i haven eat yet..
eat until damn full.. but once i reach home same thing happen.. camp in toilet lo..
lolz...
after tt since my father got another lorry back le..
thought of going to pray so i went with ping..
pray for the same thing again..
but once i reach home on my facebook first thing i see..
"i broke my fingernail"...
i was speechless for a moment. it was like 30 mins again i just pray and i come back and see the post was like 20 mins again..
but the next thing come to mind is still is she ok?
hopefully yes ba...
it 2 plus and i am still feeling damn awake...
i think i turning into "god" soon lo.. haha
zzzz i dunno wat happen sia...
whole dae nv eat then just now meet ping to eat...
eat one bowl of fishball noodle also cannot finish...
then finished my teh c.. haha
but i just came back from the toilet..
i just wasted my food.. i vomit everything out.. wtf lo...
sian.. this is one of the sideeffect ba... i think...

just now when i am at home at 7..
i decided to pack my drawer..
see alot of things... include my journal since pri sch..and is like 4 books..\
haha read all of it.. and laughing to myself.. like so stupid.. haha..
throw lots of stuff..
i got birthdae card.. haha.. kept all of them...
i see this birthdae which is on 2007 also the first present she gave me.. lolz...
haha.. then i got this mindset..
i have always been negaitive.. blaming myself even since i was young.. lolz..
haha..

after vomit... now i am hungry again.. but nth to eat.. sian....
tml morning then find cum eat ba.. da sao also there.. hahaha...
funny.. belinda like me to call her da sao.. she damn happy de.. lolz...

got to go study le..
taking bridging exam...
stress!
today is a public holidae.. but to me is just like a normal sat or sun..
since is ph.. i decided not to call melvin.. so he can go out with his gf.. as she is not working todae..
so i take a cab to warehouse todae...
it was so empty and cold...

it was then i realize tt i am not really tt mature as i think..
i feel like like a kid...
i keep looking on the phone..
looking at the door..
hoping someone will come in or my phone will ring...
i feel like a kid who need care and concern..
felt lonely and left aside...
been here the whole dae...
it's about time to go home lo...
back to a place where i rot again...
hey bro... dun worry like wat i always say i not going to die tt easily.. still got 18yrs more..=)

ya.. just like wat alfred say.. my white blood cell is down by 75%...
is something like an AIDS ppl?? haha
prone to all any illness out there...

so now i am down with flu, running nose , headache , cough , insomnia and fever..

i am just walking around at 38.5degree..

got 7 dae mc from camp mo.. but got tonnes of work to do...
so i will still be going back to camp..
cause course starting...

my phone is like no longer call a phone.. is like a alarm... haha
since it like damn free for me... start studying but like nth gets in.. zzzz
thinking of getting 2 more degree during this 2 yrs.. before i go over to get my own engineer degree.. =)...
i'm sorry... i think this is the onli thing tt i can do in my life..

i dun mean ignoring u..
i dun mean i dun wan to know anytihng about u..
i dun mean all tt...

wat i mean is me.... unable to start a conversation...
unable to show the care and concern even as a friend..
i just dunno how to speak up..
dunno how to start off..
onli know how to say sorry..

sorry
Melvin just asked me. why u nv like to smile and always got no emotion on my face ?

just then i think of my very own flaws.

I cannot handle and express emotions..
tt y i choose to have a plain face or nth at all..

btw thanks melvin.. got to spent the nite with me at warehouse.. sorry to take up ur time..
so wat if i can study now???
i just lose the meaning of life...

the mind and heart work on a diff line...

why i can just start a conversation?
always is the other whu start..
i dunno, i'm lost...
i got got 2 emails..
first is my full result of my this term uni...
Prof Eng Math AD
Prof Blue Print AD
Prof Aerodynamic AD
Prof Mechdynamic Part I/IV AD
Prof Cruise Engine Part I/IV AD

plus this:
Student CHOKE CHONG HWEE S8828299Z, an oversea student in UOB, achieved TOP SCHOLAR OF THE YEAR and BEST FRESHMEN AWARD.

next is..
CHOKE CHONG HWEE S8828299Z HAD BEEN ACCEPTED IN TO BACH OF COMMERCE IN UNI OF NORTHERN IOWA. AS AN OVERSEA ONLINE CLASS STUDENTS.
sat came...
another slpless nite for me...
wat got into me i dunno..message text but the send button not press..
cooling down?
dun think so.. it's like killing myself..blocking off from everything..
staying in warehouse just to hide..
wonder to myself y am i doing this...
i can't answer...
whu will???
i wonder on...
back to me le...
dunno wat is into me nowadaes.
i got this very bad thought in me...
i like ignoring her or trying very hard not to ask her anything... i also dunno myself strange enough..
my health had not been gd cause i cannot slp and i am taking medi for others.. to try out the side effects... tt me.. nv believe in theory and onli believe it when it happen to me... then kena scold le lo...
i just read stats and commerce book.. hard enough.. aleast for me ba...
strange me... nvm.. hope this feeling will be gone ba....
ok alfred stop these...
u know me very well and u also know i dun say all these..
whether i have done all those or not doesn't matter..
it's on free will bro...
i not doing all these for pity or watever....
so dun say le..
i do wat i think i need to.. doesn't mean it had to be known...
thanks..
HI ppl, this is alfred here, not choke.
cause we all know his password.

Here for you all to know and for us to tell u about choke.

he is not online so he must be researching about her report now. either at home or at warehouse.

Choke is just a 22 years old guy who doesn't think like a 22 year old. his thinking is very strange, all his mind is all bros, family and of course her.

He dunno how to express what he has in his mind. the only expression he can do it out very well is anger. Do not make him angry he will go crazy.

He may be just a 22 years old guy but he one the so call "leader" of our group of brothers and the youngest. He can handle things really well, talked to us , play with us. Make decision for each and everyone of us. Give us advice and concern. take care of us really well. All of us look up to him. shared everything with us.

we know every inch of him that why we are here to update you people about him.

First, he is a very family guy, actually he can move off of his small little 3 room house now. He has the very ability to leave elsewhere or even go overseas to live. but for his family to respect them he is still there. he hide everything from his family, that include us, his study , his work and alot more. He never wants his family to worry about him, what ever problem he get himself in or other get it for him, he will never bring it home.

Next, he never leave brothers out, he always help us in tons of ways. He will get really angry if you say things that hurt us.

and of course her, maybe you dunno what he had done for you. He never like to ask for help from anyone. but for you he break this, every single things that can hurts u in a way or another he will always try to clear them out, without getting into your life. Try to set your holiday trip really safe for you. I think the recent one you show know, but did you know that since he like you, your every oversea trip, he himself will go to the place you will be going and check that whole area? include your family trip. Actually what ever you had study he will knows, cause like your poly course, chemical engineering. he will get all the notes that you will be study and read it up first. He is a private student in chemical engineering and he get a GPA of 3.8. now you will be study in PSB and in commerce, i bet with you, he already start reading up all those notes. Just to ensure that when you got any study problems he will be able to help you.

Telling you this is to let you know if u come across. He never like to tell people what he wants and had done for you. let say a small little example, today we all know you are going to collect your iphone4, actually you will not get that phone until the 4th patch of phone come. He went to talk to starhub marketing director to let you have the phone without letting you know, that why will get your phone on this 2nd patch. It's ok no need to thanks him cause i will get scolded when he see this. Just be grateful.

Next is his size, actually he look quite handsome and very style when you see him in suit. we have pictures of him wearing suits that we brought for him cause we always forced him to, if not he will always wear those sloppy shirts he had. actually he doesn't wan him to be fat this way. Do you know he will spend aleast 1 hr daily to train himself. He is a master in akido breathing, he is unable to slim down is actually because when he was learning akido breathing, he broke 3 vein and 2 blood vessels in him, cause this is an ancient tactic which is difficult to learn. He is a fighting master do not look at his cute face thinking that he will not do anything. he can kill a person in just 4 moves. But he learn is just to protect her not just physically and also your name. no one can say bad thing about you, he will just turn nasty, we had seen it lots of times.

Next is money, he may not be appear rich but he is, that is IF he WANTS. He work hard and save up really well. when there is a need for him to help you, he will.

Next is pamper, he is a very independent guy, of course his godfather wan to pamper him but he never want it. He throw lots of those expensive gift in warehouse or with us brothers. He is very afraid of hi godfather pampering "her" too. he actually aleast get over 20 branded limited edition bags for her. but choke keeps all them properly in warehouse. he always say he will get you when the time is right.

that for this time,

sign off
Alfred, Bear, Physco, Tattoo siao, Gamer.
we are all part of his Brother group.
See ya guys.
waiting to meet our DA SAO!
it 3 plus.. and i am still studying the report..
call here and there looking for doc all over the world..
i just wan u to be healthy and happy.. tt all i am asking for..
is it too much???
internet was lag like hell...
maybe cause of the mio just install at home...
i dunno wat to do on a fridae nite...
campmate ask me out.. but reject.. dun feel like going out wit them..

i dunno wat i wan also... haha
i always assume things..
assume this assume tt..
i am be right may be wrong..
but think most of the time i'm wrong ba...
i cannot alwyas depend on other..
i can onli make myself do things then i will feel better..
which is now...
i can onli research more to ensure u r very healthy...
i still got 23 more test report to come back to me..
i go back read up le.=)
me.....
nv wanted to do anything big..
nv wanted to study really well..
nv wanted to stand out in work..
nv wanted to gain everything..
nv wanted to gain respect from anyone..
nv wanted to give anyone trouble..
nv wanted to let ppl pity me

tt why.....
always work extra hard..
always keep myself alone..
always thinks before action..
always plan stuffs before hand..
always do things in the dark without ppl knowing..
always keep a smile..
always remind myself tt whu i am..
always keep myself behind..

maybe tt me..
whu likes to protect ppl in the dark..
whu likes to stay alone and think of you..
whu likes to study or work to wee hours..
whu likes you but dun wan to be with you..

not tt i dun wan to make the step..
i cannot blame it on my char..
i dun blame ppl around me..
i dun blame u at all..

the problems lies in me..
always wat i wan was to see u spend ur life happily..
i know i was wrong to go into ur life with out ur permission..
u dun even know wat i did..
i always know where u r with who and doing wat..
sorry.. it's me whu bang through the privacy of ur life..
i feel bad.. without u telling me or even posting it on facebook..
i knew wat happen..
this is ppl ba..
not everyone around u can be trusted..
tt how the dark side work..
i settle lots of problems just to make sure ppl around u r ok..
but no matter wat i do.. there is always flaws..
but u learn ba..
i cannot just keep u in a box and locked it up..
it hurts me when ever i know something wrong or bad is going on in you..
my extended worries nv go low...
tt me..

ok.. i am someone whu loves you but dare not take the step.. onli dare to look at u from the back while u smile and laugh with others.... tt me~
just back home from camp.. non stop 30 hrs of work for me from ytd morning..
godfather u see ur own la.. can read me big deal meh...zzz i also need to go read up in medi again.. bb.. and dun send dr woo come.. i need i will find him...

Choke Chong Hwee...
HaRpEr
DeAtHkNiGhT
Alot of nick names..
08081988
started to protect. om 28 july =)
Choker8@hotmail.com
CPS=>BLSS=>NP(ME)=>Army
LeO
DrAgOn
SaMsUnG L760
LaMer
NiTe CaTs
RoTtEr
BrO To EnD
LoNeR
DrInKeR
BaRTeNdEr
BaLlEr


designed by: dreamwalker
powered by: blogger

Get your own countUP at BlingyBlob.com Normal | Bold | Strikeout | Italic | Underline | Link | big | small

no wider than 510px.

» my nose sucks now...running like fuck..i think is ...
» i am here to rattle again...i just feel like i pas...
» really a long time since i came back here..erm... ...
» the week isn't any good week,somehow like the wors...
» this time is really a long time since i had blog.....
» sorry bro nv see ur post la...too lazy to comment ...
» Bro, you should know the aim of us here.we know bi...
» i got nth to do here so i came here rmb tt i have ...
» ROGER! Bro rmb the things i tell u.left her to us ...
» bro like wat i said ytd..safety is my main concern...

» July 2005
» August 2005
» September 2005
» October 2005
» November 2005
» December 2005
» January 2006
» February 2006
» March 2006
» April 2006
» May 2006
» June 2006
» July 2006
» August 2006
» September 2006
» October 2006
» November 2006
» December 2006
» January 2007
» February 2007
» March 2007
» April 2007
» May 2007
» June 2007
» July 2007
» August 2007
» September 2007
» October 2007
» November 2007
» December 2007
» January 2008
» February 2008
» March 2008
» April 2008
» May 2008
» June 2008
» July 2008
» August 2008
» September 2008
» November 2008
» March 2009
» June 2009
» July 2009
» September 2009
» February 2010
» March 2010
» April 2010
» May 2010
» June 2010
» July 2010
» August 2010
» September 2010
» October 2010
» November 2010
» December 2010
» January 2011
» March 2011
» April 2011
» May 2011
» July 2011
» January 2012
» February 2012

» GeraldinE >>

This layout was created by sagacity and is highly inspired by doughnutcrazy. The icon used in the profile section can be found at jagged smiles. The poem is called "A Cure from Nature." I don't know the author of the poem. Please use MOZILLA FIREFOX when viewing this layout/blog. Use a 1280x800px screen for best results.