Sunday, October 31, 2010 @ 23:14 | back to the top.
i think i over stress myself le... now my head is like throttling...\
is like when u drink too much...
funny enough.. when ppl nv wants to listen to the end..
=)...
i miss u grandpa...
shall update tml ba...
try to let my body rest le...
u too please rest well...=)
@ 06:27 | back to the top.
just bath ...took me a long time to wash off all those "blood"
it's like the most number of photos i can take la...
scary.. i dun like to take photo especially strangers....
THANKS alot~ i know chattign with me is not interesting at all..
but it does help me alot...
even thought i wanted to continue..
but...
going to slp soon.. need to wake up.. to go candice first birthday..
envious.. i dun even know wat i did on my first birthdae...
Saturday, October 30, 2010 @ 18:25 | back to the top.
let see...firstly, happy birthdae to chunyip which is on the 28 oct...
gave him the bottle of cordon bleu..
since he like it so much. even thought is from my collection..
bro. feel happy there belinda is there for you.
and you had changed after u meet her.. cheers for u..
=)
next is Alfred.. bro happy birthdae to u also which is on the 29 oct..
bro i know u just wan to disturb me... but then tt sentence really did bring my mood down..
i know u for 10 years now...
every year we spent ur birthdae together...
this year i not there...
i really dun like it...
sorry bro.. really sorry..
hope the present i send u will like ba...
bro u too... she is very good to you le la.. stop all the shit record le la.. haha..
please does taek care of her and urself..
haiz.. next is army...
fucked tub la...
hand injuried still not enough..
more report to be..
then other side...
say really wat u wan to do go ahead...
i am no longer there..
i out of the post.. please understand tt..
and my phone is not any help lines ok...
zzzz
even though i do support you...
however i still feel hurt...
gone to work...
Thursday, October 28, 2010 @ 12:20 | back to the top.
lunch time.. is the hardest part of my work..cause u nv know hot to pass ur lunch time...
i dun go down to cook house to eat my lunch...
haha...
ya.. the last post was like half done cause suddenly i was busy.. haha
ya.. say until the gun barrel explode..
i got cuts on my fingers and arm..
but arm onli 2 small lines..
the bad one is my index finger..
cause it was nearer to the exploded barrel..
haha quite pain...
haha...
went to look at the very first post i post on my blog..
damn funny..
i was tt childish then...
but then my 3 dotz habit nv change...
@ 08:24 | back to the top.
in army exam hall now..sian la...
first happy birthdae to cucumber!!!! aka pineapple kor kor... haha
sian.. now onli can use left hand type...
cause right hand is full of plaster...
ytd during live firing.. one stupid officer do sometihng wrong..
and i am the weapon specialist..
so got forward..
then the barrel exploe..
now hand pain..
Monday, October 25, 2010 @ 02:23 | back to the top.
it 2.30..my hand and eyes r going ways soon...
tired ... for the last 2 dae i onli slp for 2-3 hrs..
had my eys glue on the screen and hand on th e keyboard..
and it like finally done...
sometime i wish i could say...
but sadly enough i dun think anyone will understand...
sometime song will be able to know how u feels...
=)..
got to go to slp le.. tired.. yawns....
Saturday, October 23, 2010 @ 03:50 | back to the top.
now started mugging...doing research on team building..
as well as acc....
even though my own course haven start..
hee hee...
just now...
meet like the group tt always hang out with..
funny as usually..
one thing tt i saw and i dun like it...
but same things goes.. no right to say anything or comments... hee hee..
this afternoon...
i spend like tons of money...
amount tt i think i will nv earn in this lifetime..
when for an jewellery auction...
bid like no body business...
include gift of every single bros' gf/wife..
most of them are godfather ones..
make me got to take half dae off todae..
then rush over to alfred house to take my full formal suit..
hate to wear it.. but it's a must to go to the auction...
ya.. thanks melvin for fetching me there and back...
this week is like not a week tt i have been working other then tue and wed plus todae half dae...
i work like 2.5dae??? this weeek..
haha..
last mondae was on leave..
wed went to KTPH.. dunno wat is the full name la..
when there for my leg...
went to do 2 x rays and 2 mri testes....
actually i knew the result already.. cause it's mine leg..
i am prepared for the result beforehand..
but when the result just struck u...
u will just have a very sad feeling..
or down feeling..
it's no longer the tearing factor...
u just feel tt some black hole somewhere around...
lot of thing u dun feel like thinking..
asking urself tons of qns..
and smile dun lasts..
i dunno... how long can i last...
it's just deep down inside...
Monday, October 18, 2010 @ 17:18 | back to the top.
just reach home..tired la...
cause all those stupid idot uncle whu wan to sit on my place.. and thought can do nth...
onli when pro arise then start to panic..
i reach home at 6.30 todae...
then try to slp at 7..
then this stupid idot call me at 9 to say that how to do this how to do tt..
i dun understand why he want tt post tt badly..
but dun even know how to do a single shit...
i so tired now...
todae was suppose to be a leave...
suppose to be relax sia...
shit them la... zzz
nvm forget about all those unhappy shits...
playing ignore should be my very good point..
cause i can ignore alot of things...
using the dun care dun bother attitude..
however ytd..
i just thought i will be doing the same thing..
however from the moment u step into the lorry..
i got the very urge to ask u things..
but i keep quiet..
even b4 tt ur call...just struck me...
ur voice tt i did not heard in over a month..
then back at kelyn chalet..
it is just like there is a spotlight following u..
no matter where i look.. u r just in the limelight..
i wonder why...
espically when i look into ur eyes...
after so long...
even when u say u r hungry...
i wonder and wonder...
Sunday, October 17, 2010 @ 02:49 | back to the top.
having a very sucky feeling now..i dunno wat i was doing just now...
i am such fucked up...
i think this is wat happen when noone wan to take the first step ba...
my nitemare r coming true i think..
my nitemare is still going on non stop.. even when i just wan to rest for a 10 min..
feeling very sucks now..
got to go le ba..
meet melvin..
mob and tune his car..
i think it will take another 5 to 7 hrs ba...
got to slap myself real soon..
Saturday, October 16, 2010 @ 11:49 | back to the top.
haven been to much slp.. cause of nitemares...it's like a movie with parts...
it scaring me...
tt y i dun wan to slp..
keep asking myself to do things...
finally, i have done something tt i wanted to do long ago...
tt is to give up my post..
since they want it tt badly..
the onli things i am sorry is to godfather..
it's like giving away his baby...
even thoguht he say to me do watever u wan..
and ur bold decision will always have a result..
but i know he is feeling kind of sad..
no more ton of reports for me to go through..
no more long hrs meetings int he mid of the nite...
no more phone calls in the mid of the nite..
sad is no more connection i have...
so nth much i can do lo...
just live a simple live...
Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ 22:34 | back to the top.
todae the nite mare haunted me...maybe this nitemare is reminding me how important u r to me??
maybe ba..
update tml ba..
i done something i wanted to do ytd..
some how abit song now...
@ 11:49 | back to the top.
was suppose to slp from 11 to 1 ytd...but then i went to slp at around 12..
then i had a very bad nitemare...
very bad one...
the worst one i had...
it was not about life and death...
will it really happen??
haiz..
Wednesday, October 13, 2010 @ 22:22 | back to the top.
i am actually missing u alot here...just when i digging my head into my work just now..
while my friend was talking..
i heard this "yi shui si yuan"...
the onli thing tt pop into me is you..
this is wat i use to played ur name with when i first met u..
kind of feeling very bad..
i keep asking myself..
is this really wat i wan??
but y am i feel so down??
anyone can give me the answer?
i'm a person whu dun like guesses and beating around the bush..
can someone just pop in my face and tell me???
if this is really gd for her, y am i feeling this bad??
another things.. bear i found the way of settling them le...
simply since they wan my seat tt much..
i will give it to them..
yes give it to them...
see whether they can do it properly???
tell boss tt i'm sorry i cannot handle them...
i dun wan to go the ruthless way.. if not i will just be like the old time gansters or them...
i wan to change all this shit...
no more shit ah beng...
and then melvin.. i will full mob ur car on fridae nite all the way to sat..
sorry i drag so long...
all the parts i will install it myself...
i will tune for u also...
now back to myself..
in camp.. but really bored...
dunno wat have gotten back into me??
i started to vomit again.. just now..
maybe is the martell tt i drink??
i dunno also..
but somehow i am craving for more..
ok ba.. about time to go do my patrol liao...
anything u all wan find me just call me ba..
if not just call my office 6799 7687...
this phone is onli i listen one...
@ 12:04 | back to the top.
everywhere is go everyone i meet, just ask about her...even work place...
even when i was destroying cd, i thought of her..
which i end up having a deep cut on my finger..
she is a friend a really close friend...
but then...things happen...
i doesn't wan this to happen but it will..
speaking all these i think will make it to some misunderstanding or something bad again ba..
i just to say..
i lost my aim and dreams..
ppl dreams cause they can nv have it...
like godfather say, no one will stay by ur side if u nv put in the extra mile for them...
tt y ba. i onli walk a metre onli...
got to go back work le...
and it's duty tonite... haiz..
Tuesday, October 12, 2010 @ 22:42 | back to the top.
i really dunno wat i wan and aim here...lost my aim le...
sian...
haiz..
tml duty..
@ 11:46 | back to the top.
actually...i dunno wat sia..i hurt my heels..
cause my shoe is spoil...
the cut... sianz...
godfather call me now and then..
i dunno weather to listen to him anot..
really..
i dunno.. confused...haiz...
work sucks too... totally no mood...
Sunday, October 10, 2010 @ 19:12 | back to the top.
can't even slp... plus the red shoulder... it hurts..
and i can't figure out the solution to my problems...
everyone got their own ways of handling things...
and i got to much factors...
and my gandma is starting to irrates me...
every five min she will have things to ask me...
zzzzzzzzzz.... arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
@ 01:47 | back to the top.
just back again.. after going out to blah blah and blah...cause when i got one problems up my head.. all problems will pop out again..
i hard life...this is wat i say..
home problems.. work problems.. outside problems...
tons of problems and i dunno how to solve...
asking for advice is not an option...
cause everyone is different..
got their own thinking and so..
and i can't solve problems...
all these causes my health to be this bad...
i dun wan all these to happen...
thinking about all these gives me headach..
and just barely 2 hrs of slp daily???
i really wan to ahve a full 8 hours slp..
even if i slp early.. i will just end up waking up thinking about all these problems..
and the very sad thing is tt i can ask noone..
even if i wan to share i got to think of him and her status..
i dun wan to give them problems...
i dunno how long i can substain myself...
i dun dare to think about future..
i dun dare to think for myself..
i here and there...
i just feel then i am even worthless than a shit...
Saturday, October 09, 2010 @ 22:59 | back to the top.
just back froma whole dae of outing with james, yan, cum and nan..fun enough..
same non stop laughing..
great to eat yan mother cooking again.. it's damn nice but there is too much..
we can't finish..
tanning session from 11 to 4...
now my shoulder and arm is like red chili crab...
broke my slippers at harbourfront..
then bought a new one.. and it is yellow... first time getting yellow slippers..
then bugis..
then back home...
tired and hot now..
but i just dun feel like slping..
it not tt i got nth to talk to u..
there is ton of things then comes in my mind to ask u or nag at u...
but i just dun wan to get the misunderstand again..
it felt tt i am in wrong giving the wrong messages..
wat i mean was there is no one to nag at me other than you and godfather..
i nv say u can't..
i actually prefer u to nag.. but...
the next time tt come in mind is tt.. the lesser i talk...
the lesser misunderstanding occur..
i need tt care.. but i dun wan to cross the line..
u r attached... not tt is atttach to him.. even any other one..
i can't just do it the same as u were single..
ur bf is not a idiot..
i dun wan to be the source..
same i will be there.. but i will not know anything unless u told me..
@ 05:21 | back to the top.
for todae...strangely i feel very much like drinking...
but then chunyip decided not to go todae..as ber is at his house..
and ping got to acc ling..
so for the very first time i went out drink alone~
when to dragonfly.. this time with no one other than myself..
standard warm up was 2 bottles of martell..
then carry on by cordon blu..
and at the end i drank 12 bottle in total...woah..
but was not high at all..
all the while was alone drinking..
and this time i get into trouble at dragonfly..
dunno wat get into me tt i lost my cool todae..normal daes with other i was always the one cooling ppl down..
todae i fight with 2 guys..
cause they wanted to take my bottle then i say no..
wanted to drink together but i say no..
then he start scolding my"gf"..
which i know i dun have..
but i just can't control todae...
punch them real hard.. and they bleed...
too bad before i can continue the bouncer pull them off and ask me to cool down..
then come the manager chris..
saying sorry and all the bullshit..
he also dunno y got these 2 idiot in the members area and near my table..zzzz
talk cock to me..
but i lazy to entertain him.. ask him to go off...
then i go off also..
just nice the music stop..
so here i am now..home sweet home..
and got to wake up at 9.
cause meet yan they all to sentosa..
and i miss yan's mother cooking..
haha later get to eat lo...weeeee
got to go to try and rest now..
or later u will see zombie walking...
Thursday, October 07, 2010 @ 23:13 | back to the top.
here just to say sorry..sorry melvin.. get u in trouble again...
sorry i wasn't concentrating on tunning just now..
and drifting..
the front part tt crash in i will pay no worry...
i crash one.. sorry tt u got to take public transport for tml..
sorry melvin...
Wednesday, October 06, 2010 @ 22:37 | back to the top.
Winty, dun need to do these ba...no use crying over spilled milk..
be happy go find ur bear bear..=)
y use my blog...zzzz
forget it...
drinking on fri nite...
dun care place and ppl... I'm DRINKING...
leg pain.. due to bb last nite.. sian.. lost my touch liao la...
fucked~
Tuesday, October 05, 2010 @ 17:54 | back to the top.
i just woke up, very tired~opps forget this isn't my blog~
Hi, people =), i'm Winty here~
actually i here to say something:
Geraldine, i'm sorry for insulting you. Sorry for talking behind your back. I knew the pain of people talking behind your back. This is the only point of contact choke allows me to talk to you.
Choke, Thanks for talking reasons and factors to me for over 2 weeks. sorry choke i take all your sleeping time away for 2 wks. T-T. Thanks you for letting me understand what is happening. And letting me know how much bear had given in for me. =)
Dearest Bear, Dear I LOVE YOU~ now i know how much you love me. =P Love you 4ever. =D
Sorry choke let me use your blog.=P
Take Care Please~ =D
Monday, October 04, 2010 @ 17:16 | back to the top.
I AM BORED...VERY BORED...
MISSES~
haiz... dunno wat to do even on a half dae off...
no ppl nth to do..
my desktop is down..
montior down again...
think i over power it again.. super sian...
no games and no study for me now...zzzzz
i dunno understand relationship...
like ping.. ytd was quarrel with ling about betrayled and tonnes of stupid stuffs..
ask for beek ytd..
todae thought wanted to be a good enough friend so called him after my work..
he was slping.. and the next time is ling is beside him...
the first thing tt come to my mind is ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ytd u were talking like u hate her so much and then>?????
todae she sleep at ur house...
dun understand at all....
think tt is wat ppl call love ba..
maybe????
whu knows???
i sure dunno!!!
arhhh... damn sian la...
going crazy soon..
bear u settle ar...
i dunno wat to say...
ty bro..
Saturday, October 02, 2010 @ 15:27 | back to the top.
todae is sat...is just like a normal sat..
but dun feel normal at all..
got strange strange de feeling..
dun feel like studying at all...
even though exam is coming soon...
went online to look at national basketball team de blog..
tons of things happen about my leg dislocated...
then lost interest in it too...
went to look at hot stuffs book whihc is all about cars..
which is my second interested thing..
look not even 10 pages.. dun feel like reading le..
kind of lost interest in lots of things nowadae...
feel that there is a strong need for me to upgrade nmyself..
been reading a book on how to listen and talk porperly..
nth to do..
thinking tonite go work ba..