Monday, February 27, 2006 @ 21:53 | back to the top.
haiz.. i am sick...since sundae...fever on and off...cough and running nose..damn sux..make me can't go work..then my dad dun let me wotk anymore..haiz..going to rot.... he still say tml still on anf off i going to go to hospital at nite..haiz.. i dun wan...so sianz there..alone.with 4 walls and no ppl to come to visit me...haiz.....i nv go work...sorry yan.. i can't work anymore...sorry....haiz...sick le...nth much...bye...Sunday, February 26, 2006 @ 04:03 | back to the top.
haiz...4 in the morning..so sianz..todae i nv go work..cause damn sianz..haiz....i lost contact with all ppl....lonely soulz here....realise tt time past can't really heals wounds.....todae go co....haiz..nth much...tml go co...then need to work again...tt my life.....haiz...how.. i dunno wat to do....i am at all lost now....really lost...i felt like crying out.....but there is no one to listen....to say out wat i feel to everything but there is none....in this very middle of the dawn..i am here...siting alone infront of my com...when all is slping...and then tears drop.. it makes my keyboard wet...but is there anyone to hold out one tissiue to lend it to me???? anyone beside me asking me why are u crying??? there is none... my father just saw me todae for a wk..and did he say anything..none....haiz...there goes my life...turning into somewhere there is worst....onli sadness and lonely....where i will be just alone in the darkness where no lights will be there to shone on to the path where i sld walk...i tumple and fall...and i just couldn't pick myself up anymore...how i wished just to end it here.....with all the pains and sufferings.....................................Friday, February 24, 2006 @ 09:08 | back to the top.
just come out bath.....haha...back from work again...haha.... it is like a cycle....everydae same things...haha... go work at jp de bus stop...then come back abt 7.40a.m same bus stop...then walk to pioneer mall with yan..then he go home i walk past 706 then to shuinan house there the bus stop to go home.....then reached home on com..go bath..then blog..see got ppl online ma....but mostly no ppl de....then i go slp lo..then wake up then need to go work again....my life is just like tt... i lfelt like i am living in another country..cause i see no one other then yan and ppl working there...then no contact with others.....haiz...say until ppl..i felt i miss her lots..been a wk nv see her le... felt really strange...cause something really important is missing in my life....it changes..haiz...see ba...april her birhtdae..then see ba...cya..Wednesday, February 22, 2006 @ 08:35 | back to the top.
just got back..rot for 12 hrs..whole 12 hrs do screen test..wa..sianz lo....not tired at all..the job is not tired but damn sianz....my department damn slask one...haha...just now going home walk with sufyan then we see one snake in the canal..at pioneer park there..haha..then when i walk past blk 708 de fitness park..i saw 1 old uncle and 1 indian male wearing a shirt write army.. then they both do the hand push..the uncle very old le but do like nth....then the indian boy do until wan to die like tt....haha..somemore very skinny...lolz....then go home loh...wan to eat no ppl accompany me....damn sianz... i tihnk i go bath le slp..since nth to do le....bye...work later...Tuesday, February 21, 2006 @ 09:07 | back to the top.
juat back not long ago...still having fever headach like hell....the job not tired but damn sianz...timw slow down...haiz.....i onli get to tok to yan on break and sometime break diff time then cannot tok..haha.....i belive tt a min of happy moments with ur loved one will a forever picture....cause during the 40 mins break...i went to sit then my head damn pain.. i look at the sky i saw the stars..so nice..abd then i see her face in the sky...and the time she was laughing happily..haha..tt is the onli time i dun feel my head any pain..it last for 30 mins..so good.. i simply miss her.....
Monday, February 20, 2006 @ 17:12 | back to the top.
omg..working later..wth..todae got fever...wa lao....sianz....head and body all very tired and pain...haiz...bo bian still got to work...haiz....i dun dare to eat medi cause scared later work half then fall aslp....haiz....very dizzy now...bye... @ 02:40 | back to the top.
haiz..todae is a damn suay dae for me....sauy unitl fall down 6 times...wth...leg and but very de pain ar.....suay ar.....2 itmes fall down at stair at cc cause run up and down....for scores..then 2 times fall at my block de stairs.....then 2 times cause floor wet..then i slip and fall..this 2 is the most painful one...haiz...then sitll having this idiots running nose....haiz...sneezeing non-stop also..haiz..todae when to co in the morning..then i run up and down to make scores then take out bass nv even play a note and it is time to go home..after tt go find shuinaneat lo..he ask me one...since he so free go lo..then is ask me go bowling cause mondae he got bowling competition in sch....haha..but i still win him..lame..haha...then when home fall down...ar.....dun tok abt fall down anymore..how i wished i could take oput my nose....ar.........tml start work le...7 pm-7a.m..hope it go well ba...then it will change my life le...actually nth much will change....if i can change the way i am tihnking i will had change not to todae friends...i know u all care abt me..but this kind of things not i say gif up it will gif up de....there are damn lots feeling in it..sorry guys...maybe times will drift it away...making me less painful..haa...i dun mind having this pain...haha..dun tok le la..wahaha..sianz at home...ar.....bye...Sunday, February 19, 2006 @ 02:50 | back to the top.
just got home not long....todae when to taman jurong to help out in the chingay..lolz...sianz..but fun also..but aleast i get to see her....i todae whole dae sneezing...so sux....todae morning wake up late cause 2 daes i nv slp then ytd slp at 5 then wake up at 11..haha..nv go co...then shuinan come find em eat lunch...then he go see doc cause he fridae nv go sch..then go see doc..the nurse ask whu see doc...shuinan say is he..then the nurse ask comfirm anot..haha.. i look more sick then him..lolz...then go taman jurong le...after tt see rhino..long time nv see this bro of mine...then go drinking session..lolz...jujst drinking and toking cock ok..cause u all cfm i will smk de..but i nv..haha.. i also shocked....drinking session i nv smk..haha.....then now just bath come out...chat alot up with my bro.. he is much much more better then me..haha...ok la...nth much le...Friday, February 17, 2006 @ 22:40 | back to the top.
haiz.. i am tried from smileing and laughing infront of ppl....how i wished i can cry infront of they....haiz...no choice...whereever i go i see memories of u...even alone i tihnk of u...haiz...todae go job interview..then start work on mondae...7p.m to 7a.m....going to be working then slp then work again....haiz..... @ 07:03 | back to the top.
haiz...i live my life aimlessly and sadly now...haiz...i dunno why i got so many promise in so manyt ppl and i broke the one tt is to my most important one...and just now will cause everything between us...so i decided to fulfilled tt promise back..i know it will not do any help between us anymore..but i wan to go back to the promise...haiz..sorry.....i hurtz more for u to be in disappointed with me than anyother things...haiz....sorry....u take care ba...byeZ...Thursday, February 16, 2006 @ 01:09 | back to the top.
end of my life here....did things really wrong over here...damn wrong...i fault here..breaking ppl promise...nth more i can say..cause i really did break it...life is so stressful for me...haiz... i lost things really important to me now...i thought i lost it long ago but now it is really lost...i regert picking up the thing i throw away...now i am sad...disappiont with myself... i can onli say sorry...sorry for beaking ur promise...sorry...i know i break my promise here but not all...haiz..but i am wrong..nvm..sorry
Wednesday, February 15, 2006 @ 01:35 | back to the top.
valentine dae have just passed... ppl happy???hope u all are happy and not like me..haha...ppl go out..and i stay at home...even my mum ask me why nv go out..so lame...i see lots of happy couple here and there...so jealous of them..haha..nvm...i however not angry with anyone but myself..haha..nv cherish tt person...regrets comes..haha.. so ppl hope ytd u all have a happy time with ur loved one and together..and those single will have ur loved one out to u very very soon..=)..and me?? miss her lo..can do nth.. ppl ask me gif her things..even thought nv go out..i have things but nv contaact...ask me to wait outside her house.. u all very the funny..u tihnk she live alone ar......haha..nvm the things is with me and i will keep it to somedae...haha...i still can't eat lots of things..haiz...then i cook myself loh...other then eating outside...then i at home just come and com..haha..so bored rite.....then actually todae got work one..damn it...the mike la..bluff me and yan...fuck off...angry lei...waste my time....haiz....then later back at home again....nth to do again.. i can't seem to go to aslp again....how??? slping pills...useless le...le....nvm..bang my head againt the walls..haha good ideas rite..haha...todae i do one kind things tt is to help my frienz create blog...haha..so lame....nth to do..haha...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 @ 01:54 | back to the top.
nth much loh..my life...nvm it is going to change..erm let say todae..i dunno wat time i wake up...haha..then meet yan at 12 in jp..see wat course he wan to take..then meet ger and kel..after they go to sch...then go eat..then pool for awile..they go off..to shopping i tihnk...dunno nv tell me..haha...then i and yan call the sing hitech..to ask got work anot since we doing nth...then say got..say 4.30 must reach or will be gone..but the time they call is 4...we rush hm then there but it was too late it is gone...haha...then go jp loh....then he go home le.. i contineue loh...saw thoedore...play again..so sianz...then go syco but late le..go cc onli...meet shuinan and james..tok on the way home...james is very de fine...with galfriend le....wa...tml i still need to help him see got rose anot..haha..he wan gif his galfriend...haha..i dun have...no ppl wan....bought something but.....nvm.....next time ba....not on valetine..haha..tml i got to work le...nite shift...going to be tired... i think i now go force myself to slp first...bye...HAPPY VALETINE PPL....
this is also the 201 dae i wait for her and i will be still waiting..cause i love her...and this is the every first time i pass valetine dae and it is waiting for my love one...i know now i am not the best guy for u i will try to be..and till the dae i willbe the guy for u...i will still be waiting...4ever..nv going to say goodbye..
Monday, February 13, 2006 @ 02:11 | back to the top.
haiz...haven been feeling well at all...dunno why...and i am sick..damn sick..wat i eat come out....haiz..onnli plain things...therfore i seem like not eating everything....todae i saw a father pushing his baby in a baby chair and taking pics...both of they laugh and smile so happily..and i realsie i haven been doing this since a long time..i even forget how to laugh out...something is bothering me...but i dunno how to solve it...ppl just say things tt wouldn't works...just plain toking...so i can onli reply yes yes...and nth more...i have been trying very hard to smile and laugh it out.. i feel so strange and wierd when i smile or laugh....something really bad is putting me away from my past....maybe things change..i dunno..now my time pass like a min=a year.. so long..so pain...so..watever...dunno.... tml going poly with yan..he wan ask his corse..me? dunno..actually nth to ask..nvm..go ba...since no ppl need me..i am a loner...haiz...i can't speak myself out to ppl....even thought they may be the best ppl around i just can't pass myself this lvl..sorry ppl...maybe sch start i will be busy with myself to make me feel nth?? maybe i will go find one nite shift job..where i work at nite when ppl slp and morning slp when ppl is around...finding in process ba....nth much le..dunno wat to write....byeSaturday, February 11, 2006 @ 02:54 | back to the top.
haiz..i can't slp again.. i am worried sick for her...i dunno how....really i am worried..just tok with shuinan over this matter just now...he after work come find me..then tok loh..haiz...i feel very the wat u know...dunno how to speak to her also....haiz... i got my result but i am not worry at all for myself..but other.. i see jerome drop his tear...first time....i felt so useless..before tt he is so nervous...tiong zi cheng too...but he scores..ok loh... i am very worried for this ppl...as a frenz or wat.. i dun care...i dunno wat to do...when i heard she can't go up... i almost cry out u know...haiz...me felt so useless now...wan to help other but can;t do a single thing of my own where do i get this rite to help others...i am stressful now....and simply worried sick for her...Friday, February 10, 2006 @ 05:13 | back to the top.
Good morning ppl..haha..a brand new year....5.15 now... haha..now many ppl are going to be awake to sch or wat..but me??? haha..haven even slp...cannot fall aslp lei....haiz...worried for others......praying hard here............good luck everyone....Thursday, February 09, 2006 @ 23:52 | back to the top.
dunno wat to update.....nth to update lei... no programme for me..so nth happen at all...todae wake up damn late 11.46....dunno why also..tired.... i dun understand human... nv slp also tired...slp too much also tired.....haha..very lame hor.... then 3 o'clock go down eat with loo hick..but i nv eat...drink water onli...then play com outside....play until $5.30..like idiot..got com at home dun wan play go out waste money..hhaha..scold me ba..haha..then got call from singapore hi tech make motorola phone one ask me go work...todae.. 7p.m to 7 a.m..dunno why i dun wan work..i tell him sat ba..he say will call me again..i tihnk no hope le..haha..idiot me again rite..haha....then when home....keep sneezeing..like someone have keep scolding me after i bath...until now...haha...tt person very good can scold me so long..must tell me whu u.. i be good frienz with u.. i like being scolded by ppl..haha...very cold todae... no ppl to tok to... i have lots of things to tok to..but i need a listening ear...haha..not to com..haha...haiz...tml result le... i have no feeling for it at all...even thought is my first time taking o lvl...haha...but i think thousand of ppl are nervous now.. some can't even slp.... but here i am very nervous..but not for myself..but for my frienz and her...really hop they get wat the really wished for..so heaven pls help them...hee...thanks heaven..have a nice straight path for them... for me??? anything..even the worst one also can... i know i will not have a good path de...haha..so i am willing to let ,my path go chaos and they clear..hee..thanks heaven...Best Luck to all.... LasT Thanks you heaven....Nite..Wednesday, February 08, 2006 @ 00:19 | back to the top.
nth much happen...stay at home loh....haha..tv and com whole dae....haha...go out walk walk awhile inthe afternoon...too boring le....haha...then just now my dad tok to me abt the result...he onli think tt i will failed...keep asking me failed how??? how do i know?? ite loh....wat more??haiz...then is the last sentence he said make me real sad.... he say" i see u also will not passed de la better think wat to do" this make me real sad..i know i haven been good in anything...but also no need for this kind of words ba....haiz...no comment....nowadae i see tt many ppl like to keep saying wan to die..dun wan carry on..dunnno wat to go on in life..life is meaningless and so on.... haiz...this not the ways of life....u know how many ppl wan to continue to live on with frienz and family and they can't???u whu have a good family and lots of friends keep saying no meaning in life....i dunno wat to say to u..but u shouldn't say all this...this makes all ur friends and family real sad...they felt tt they are meaningless to u tooo..u see.... sorry i am not shooting anyone....i get very down nowadaes..dunno why....but dun worry i will smile to all...even the darkest moment of my life....and tt have past....
Tuesday, February 07, 2006 @ 01:02 | back to the top.
hee...bro just use finished for his project so i use loh...dunno wan to slp anot...haha..lame...nth much loh...just plain not feeling well so many things i can't eat and do....so sianz my life....fridae getting results le...very the fast loh....like tt is already 3 months after exam...not feeling at all for myself but nervous for my bros..and friends....u all will do well de la...no worry..haha...but me???dunno haha...time passed fast and slow....is just wat we are feeling...ppl feeling time passing in diff pace...when happy times files...sad times slow....missing ppl..time simply stop...there is many things in this life of mine tt i miss...not get the hold of it..and let it pass..nv work for it or not working hard...this is all due to human feelings....we or me...just to think of past..and get bother abt it...and we can do nth..just think and think and get worst and worst....when u are abt to bee gone..u realise tt u have alot of things tt u wan to do but haven...u dun wished to hurt ppl but not telling them..but to thise really important u wanted to tell them but does they care or even hurtz???not really sure by others...but me would like to hear problem from anyppl so tt i could help them as much as i could...not until it get worse till it cannot be solved...i will try to help as much as possible....not like me..wher no one can help anymore...haha...
now is my things le..wahaha..this is the most boring part..haha..i very lame..ytd i cut the thick skin of my foot then bleed...i thoough stop liao then i go to cut hair...i feel my foot very sticky after cutting my hair...then i reached home see my blue slippers become brown..haha...cause bleed alot..wahaha..but not pain de lei...haha...nt ba...stay at home watch tv..no ppl ask me out..haha..boring loh...haha...just now go out with shuinan then when we go home we nv eat dinner then we buy bread and water at 7-11...sit at the playground..haha..lame loh...we litter..wahaha..tok cock...then we know got ppl we know live at 5 floor..shuiann say wan call her from below...i say crazy..haha..he really crazy liao..but he also sad...his gal dun wan him...same thing..cause the gal like another guy le....i dunno wat to tell him so just tok cock to make him smile...but i realise one thing making a guy smile is alot easiler than making a gal smile..haha...nth much le...haha
LASTLY TO ALL TAKING RESULT THIS FIRDAE ALL THE BEST..WITH FLYING COLOURS..HEE..=)
Sunday, February 05, 2006 @ 20:03 | back to the top.
back from malaysia ytd nite..hee....nth in malaysia..i onli stay at my house...in my room and nth le.....sick...todae morning go cc for pfm then very not well....haiz...dunno why...but i get to see her....so happy...but very unwell so nv tok to anyone even to her..haiz.....