Wednesday, November 30, 2005 @ 11:19 | back to the top.
hee....alot better...no more fever liao...hee...but there is still headach every now and then...haha...ytd no time to update....haha...cause go syco....morning meeting shuinan at jp he say 7.30....but come at 8..wth....then meet james at mrt station..think he also kena trick by shuinan cause his face not rite...haha....then i no cello use...cause ji wan me to use jasmine one..but she nv bring hm..so morning de practice..i just sit there and rot....haha...listen to the music...nice ok.... must come for the pfm....haha....all tohugh i onli got 2 songs..haha..no group solo...haha..cause i got exam....then afternoon both of us...rot ar.....need to wait until 6++= then exam time...wth...then we sit infont of sch de kopitiam sit and la kopi..lolZ...rot ar...haha..then go in saff louge sit..cause got air con..haha...nth to do...sit for damn long atleast 4 hrs.....then 6++ take out cello and practice..haha...say practice but play 5 mins...walk 20 mins..haha....then got 3 other cello ppl whom i dun know caome and take the exam..haha....1 gal and 2 boys.....haha..werid ppl...haha...then 3 of them is not good....ji lao shi tell me one..haha...he say the gal abit better..but no basics..haha..so lame.....got her own cello...so nice..i wan also dun have..=(....mom dun wan buy for me..haiz.....ok then audrey xuan wei shuinan there practice like playing like tt..haha... i keep joking over there cause can see they are very nervous..haha..so i joke and joke...haha..then my turn le...but hor...my exam time write 6.35 le..but i go in at 7.45...wth....haha....then i go in and play....dunno why see the teachers my hands start to sweat..haha...lame ba...then keep playing wrong...then ji lao shi say.... dun nervous la...haha..then i try loh...then play finished the song...haha..short short onli...i know i play until very lousy..haha...think i either going to be out or i will in bass...haha...the teacher other then ji lao shi wan me to go bass ba...then shuinan..haha..he no need to say one cfm in one....his bass skill is so gd...unlike me....like shit...haha...then we went hm....i went to return perice her cello..haha...then went hm...when i on bus it started to rain....then i sit at bus stop...then ji lao shi call me..haha... come and nag at me loh..haha...dun tell u all wat he nag...come ask me la...haha..=P.....then wait le very long..then nvm walk in the rain..haha..long long nv walk in rain liao...hhaa...then reached hm...ji call me again..haha...lame....nag again...haha...then go bath.....haha..then nth le loh......later i am going out le...haha....byeZ....YEAH I AM GOING OUT!!!!!!Monday, November 28, 2005 @ 15:28 | back to the top.
aloha....haha..nth to do...ytd have very sweet dreams..hee....but wake up my sick get worst.... my head spinning and pain...fever higher..cause i get colder.....wth...now gastric pain also...wth...pain...my heart pain just now also....i am going to die liao..haiz..idiot body..useless one... dunno wan for wat..haiz....hee...ytd actually cannot slp one...then take out the jacket tt got her smell hee...love her smell..so nice...hee.... i realise just by looking at her i am very happy liao...during camp..i gto the keys so i can't slp need to patrol..hee...eyes very tired..but when i look at her slping i felt a feeling so nice..haha...she seem damn sweet when slping..damn nice..how i wished she were to slp beside me everyday and let me look after her....i will be damn happy..haha..know this is my own thinking hee... hee.... really i dun mind whether she is going to be mine or not...frenz is also gd... i just wished she is happy and live her life properly...nth more...i dun wished to be her most important person or wat....but need help can find me...hee...the gift tt i gif her is not for her to remember me but just a gift to remember this past..hee.. can throw away also nvm as long as i remember this...hee...thanks her for giving me this very nice and good menories in this very sch and this part of my very life..hee..thanks....
sorry..i am really sick ca't tok more....sorry...but i can't slp.....sorry..byeZ...pain..somemore alone at home....nth to eat or do...wth...byez
Sunday, November 27, 2005 @ 17:25 | back to the top.
yoZ!!!...long time nv come to tyhis blog le...O lvl finished le...co caomp finished le..coming to syco exam le..tuesday...sch daes over..haha..time files..when u dun realise...haiz...haha..times files..but i am happy with it..haha...frenZ gone..times files..haha...going to be sianz...haha...o lvl seem diff..but pass le..haha..no money..cause no job...haha... three daes two night camp in sch.... co camp..haha...fun...haha...many ppl sick... haha..then all complain here and there..haha...but ok la... can see teachers working very hard..me need to take keys so nv slp..haha..but aleast i make ppl slp..haha..especially someone..haha...shuinan get sick ther..haha..so i let him slp ba..haha..then i wake up all the time to check on those ppl..haha.. then morning i nned to help them prepared things...then practices also...haha...nvm la...i not complaining...cause is i wan de..hee....ok la..me now having fever liao...byeZ..
Tuesday, November 22, 2005 @ 10:35 | back to the top.
my bro is rite.... my father hope had become sad over the years and now to angry to me..haha..i understanding just like me getting worse and worse each year....he scoded me ytd..late homw money spender....he is going to cut my money again ba..i think...hee...think i am going to a road of depress.....i finally understand wat he hope for in me..but it is too late le...me have just killed myself..with no furture liao...my 2 most important for my ME course in poly is not going to do well...where am i going??? dover??? Bukit batok???lolZ..or even not studying anymore go out to work??? as sweeper???rubbish collecter???dish washer???lolZ...whu know??? I just know tt i am going down a dead road..now i reached the end.... i am just like murder whu had killed myself and running away..now came to a dead end of the road....i had no place to go....no way of my choice...i am sad...really sad...tears dropped...haiz...i am rally sad...going to be in depression liao...even though todae is the last o lvl paper..i dunno wat to say...simply i am sad...ytd i am unable to slp....i cried...not because of others...but for myself...why do i killed myself leaving no heart beat at all....i am lazy,like to play, do bad things,etc...all this cause my life...i dunno...confused..sad..depress now really...haiZ..I know tt i am going to be dead....think is a very gd new to all of u...i know i have been fan and always disturb u all....i am sorry..i will br gone for soon...and u all will not be able to find me to disturd u again.....i doubt ppl will care abot me...if there is tell me and i will sincerly say sorry to u..really...byeZ...-={[DePrEsSIoN]}=-
Monday, November 21, 2005 @ 10:59 | back to the top.
haiz..bored...wth....bored...no place to go...no ppl accompany me....i am a loner liao..wth..i dun wan...haiz...ytd really nth to do..whole dae in front of the stupid tv then at nite study my D&T..to quite late ba..haiz..todae got exam at 2....wth...why at 2...somemore is 2hrs and 30 mins..wtf..haiz..felling no gd.....dunno la..fan ar...........................................................................Sunday, November 20, 2005 @ 14:33 | back to the top.
hiaz...boring lei....message shuinan also nv reply me de...wth....bored..without his touch i also rotting at hm...lolZ....bored le.....ytd pfm...bored also..haha...but relaxed la...ok ba...i found out i got 2 sticky glue..haha..some of u wouldn't know one...haha...ytd pfm break i go opps playground sit..haha...bored....nth much ba....haha....then todae dun have co..haha..long long time nv eat with parents on this so call family dae..hhaha..then eat until i so full...then not at hm rot..wat is this family dae for??? haha..nth loh....bored...bored...i also nth to do....watch my tv until fall aslp just now....haha..rotting in process....ya.... i ytd slp damn early about 12++ to 1...cause promise ppl tt i will slp early....haha..then todae slp until 11.30 then is wake up by my mom one..haha..so long nv slp for this long liao..haha...i also cannot use com for long cause my bro wan to play the maple then i also nth to do..haiz..bored...bored bored bored.....ok la i go back to rot infront of my tv liao..byeZSaturday, November 19, 2005 @ 15:31 | back to the top.
hee...just reached hm from mac...haha...alone sitting down there..morning go sch de co then go cc put my cello for tonite pfm...then come back hm bath..then go mac...they change meeting time nv tell me..haha..nvm la....then now back le...boring..just now rushed like wat..then they change time..lolZ..haha..nvm...nth much le ba..haha...byEzFriday, November 18, 2005 @ 19:04 | back to the top.
just got home....mom ask my faster come hm then she not at hm wth....haha..todae fun dae ba... morning shuinan come my house type his time table..haha...then want to go eat liao..then geraldine message me ask me to accompany her go eat...then we went to meet her...then go her old house there eat....but i nv eat..lolZ..dunno why waited until full..lolZ..then go play pool... come joh and fan..haha...shuinan very lucky todae..keep winning and i am very the suay kena slap beat hit...haha...then pool also keep losing...then otw hm..i was helping shuinan to clean his shirt got chalk then he turn thought i was hitting him he hit me..i shocked then shouted out.... then geraldine shocked by my voice ba...suddenly so loud..she also nv listen to my really loud before..haha..so guilty now..sorry sorry...i shouldn't have shouted..sorry...=(..hope u are ok ba..sorry...now at hm so boring.....haiz..dunno why???.....tml need go sch de co..tml got pfm...then cello de scores i haven even read..wth...there are many treats and tricks in this world...there is a reason why all this things come..hee
@ 08:58 | back to the top.
just come up to my com from my bed..ytd nv slp at all..cause my my stupid stomach or gastric..pain ok..now still in pain..i dun think i will be able to walk out of my house a step..it is pain..really pain...wtf man....ar......................................................................................................... O lvl going to finished..happy and sad...happy cause no sch no books no nagging....free from parents..able to go out in the nite......really onli this is my happiness..... my sad lot more....frenz gone....ppl gone...they not free.....how to meet them??? happyiness in sch gone....this is human thinking...when u have it...u just let it be...then when u are going or they are gone...u will feel the world is putting u into prison.....haiz....lot more sad think....wth man...shuinan come my house liao..i let him do his things liao...bye...Thursday, November 17, 2005 @ 17:55 | back to the top.
yoZ just back hm...no ppl at hm....going to be alone..hate the feeling of alone...wth....todae...morning wake up..nth to do..lolz....meet shuinan for breadfast one then become combine of breadfast and lunch..haha...cause i went to his house at abt 12..then he looked like just wake up like tt....hair standing like the cartoon dragon ball...haha.lame...then go his house there eat...cause no money to go jp eat....but after eating walk to jp also..lolZ..lame ba...see many ppl going to sch for poa exam....then there rot at the arcade..i am getting worse...too long nv go ply liao..now shuinan can win me liao....haha..nvm let him win ba...then abt 4.30 went to colour court...then lent ball shoot...haha..shuinan bb still lose to me...he still dare say no gal ma..no need to play like pro...haha...lame ba...then abt 5 liao...saw yong cai and gao wen...they finished f&n test liao...haha..then i and shuinan walk to his house...see no ppl..lolZ....then i lost my dog..dunno go where liao....=(((((..sad lei.....then walk back hm....haha..then nth le...now rotting in process..nth to do..no game to play also..haiz... @ 08:58 | back to the top.
hi...long time nv write le.....hee...dunno wat to write also...hee... felling sleepy..haha...just wake up..hands tired from ytd de syco practice...i practice alone le....in the staff louge..haha...now i know which teacher is lazy and everytime go to the staff louge to rest....i was late for the practice..haha...not because of tt then i practice there one..hee..is because i nv pfm the fantasy song in the dec pfm....i got o lvl ma..so long time nv go then nv practice with them then i tell ji lao shi i dun wan to pfm tt song..he did ask me to pfm for the song before..hhaa...cause i lazy ba..SYCO exam is on the 29 nov lei..very fast...me haven really perfect the song...haiz......legs also tired....ytd run&walk the same place for abt 1hrs++..haha..finding things ma.....haha.....ytd walk hm with shuinan cause i need to return his sister the cello...then chat loh...dunno wat happen to him...i can't belive he say he dun wan to chio the gal he liked liao...haiz..he is giving up...i have nth to say....help him think of so much things he dun wan liao...maybe he is just notthose going to be "waiting " de guy ba.....nvm he is handsome ma..haha..mature in so ways...haha...i watch the just like heaven le.....haha...not bad...got laugh one got cry one..but not sad la...is too happy for them until cry..haha..but me???how to cry????lolZ.....later also dunno wan to do wat????borign....anyone will find me put????=XXXX....mr left 2 more paper and is end of bks life..haha....i realise shuinan is a lousy planner..and a lazy bum..haha..ytd in sch help him plan the time-table for co camp..then become all i say out one..he just stand there and write...haha....nth much le ba...dunno wat to write..sorry..byeZ..Sunday, November 13, 2005 @ 19:30 | back to the top.
boring ok.....damn bored....dunno wat.....haha...todae wake up by my phone..not cause it ring..it is because it droped..u know it dropped..then a sudden wake me up...it felt like my wife fell off my bed....i quickly pick it up...haha...heart pain even though it is an old phone....haha..but got mermoies inside..hee....then go cc de co....shuinan got go ok...haha...cause ger ask him go ba...not like me.. ask him go he will not move abit....haha...nvm he is a guy after all...lolZ....then after tt i make my scores for cello bass and for james he coming to perform next wk..haha..happy...we are back!!! the three of us..long time le..since i nv go for syco...three of us nv chat much...haha...gd frenz...to me is also a bro..everyone is a bro..=X...haha..then almost forget to eat my lunch...she reminded me...haha..or i dun tihnk i will remember....lame ba...then walk hm...buy newspaper...come back sit on sofa all the way to just now...haha...butt pain ok....boring life of mine...actually though shuinan rarely come can take bus with him..but he got ai lian de car ma...hee....so nvm..hee....dunno..laft geo d&t and sc paper 1 onli...just 3 more and i am free...still got to work le....or i have no money......boring life....Saturday, November 12, 2005 @ 17:47 | back to the top.
boring at hm...sianz like hell....play game...haiz...today wake up go co with shuinan..haha...mr ji shocked to see me..haha.....nv practice cello for a long time..then gif him say...haha..very lame..nth much le...haha..dunno la...still feeling not gd....shunan is gd..he keep making me laugh..haha...gd bro of mine....unlike the real one....to the idiots whu fuck on my tag booard...so wat????say care abt me....go off....u make harm to me...tell dad....ask me to save money????he already cut my money by 50% liao...ask me save???? haha..all thanks to u..thanks you ar.....yaya..i am a liar u can say tt....so??? ask around...i haven been smoking for how long??? fucker...ya...maybe u say stress dun need snk one rite?? so wat? i liked...as if u nv try before....just one thing dun like dun come see my blog..i am not going to tell anything to u....stop toking the stupid u....get the hell off..i am feeling gd...
Wednesday, November 09, 2005 @ 20:40 | back to the top.
haiz...sianz.......................................................................................................sway ba.................todae english paper 1...i dunno wat the hell am i writing then i know i really going to failed english laio...stresss....then go smk before paper 2 start.........the paper also sux....sux to core man...i can't belive it.........................then kena caught cause the smell too strong ba...................nvm kena tok cock at onli.....from his toking i know he dun wished to caught me de.... he is care for other student.....from his toking...he say the smell may be discomfort to others.....from his voice...reallly a gd teacher.... really i am touched...by his ths concern....really...thanks you teacher...i am not kow ur name but ur face is in my mind..............thanks......but sorry...i think i will failed my "o"lvl liao............sorry to those whu put in effort in helping me...thanks....those whu put hope on me..i am sorry...scold me if u wan...but i am sad enough....sorry.........................................................................................................Sunday, November 06, 2005 @ 22:33 | back to the top.
yoZ...just finished studying my SS...haha...tml test le...devil is on the way to lead me to hell..lolZ...YEAH..todae is the 100th dae of waiting..haha..nth much ba...haha...cannot use long..next time free then tell u all something else ba...take care..and last to all "o" lvl one..GOOD LUCK AND DO UR BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ChEeRS.............Saturday, November 05, 2005 @ 10:56 | back to the top.
just woke up....dunno why nowadays i keep slping late....just read someone blog...quite sad..cause the person have so family relative problems...then i put myself into her shoe..it is diff to cope..really...without greeting relative...as for me i do have...but onli 1 treat me really gd..other then tt still ok... cause all they know i was one a really naught kid from young... from young forunte telling told my parents tt i am an unlucky star.. u keep him u either will go poor or he will be damn naught.... it come out both liao...i have done alot of things illegal and unable to face my parents even my bros... two of my bro are all better then me other then temper...all thry more handsome then me studies no need to say is like heaven and hell...then they are very gd to my parents...gd loh..haha not like me...everyday kena scolded by them...haha..then the poor thing also coming through le...haiz dun tok abt it liao..haha..tok abt my life liao...hee... nth much..just think of tt dae go mac study with them then see a very cute little boy celebrating his birthday there but his mum look away like it is none of her business..then keyln say so pitiful..haha..it is truth..the boy will feel very sad caused it happen to me..but at least he is better then me aleast his dad help him..but me??? none..i celebra on my own or..no celebra at all..haha..ok stop this sad thigns..haha...i am scared of books now....haiz..keep studying....haha..Thursday, November 03, 2005 @ 00:33 | back to the top.
haha..know it's not early and it is too late....haha..i always call ppl to slp early and i am always the last to slp or even not slping..am i selfish??..haha..think i am really sick le..whole body no force..haiz...morning woke up at 10..very late then go pay town council de money..then go hm... headache in the morning..then meet shuinan to eat lunch cause i dun wan eat alone....then he need to go co....i walk to jp..walk walk awhile..really awhile..not even 20 mins...walk one round then take bus hm le..cause become dizzy le....haiz..useless body...then at hm sit there then heart become to pain...WTf man..all come in one dae....then no energy to move..sit there..then mum call..ask me to cook... haiz..bo bian got to cook...cook half way dad come back...he nv like me cooking so he cook..then i go rest le....nv eat dinner...lolz...sick ma..then call shuinan chat abt crap..lolz...lame loh...he all brain is her her and her...haha...then help him think of ideas to woo the gal...i gif alot lei..i also dunno come from where de ideas..they just floated to my brain..haha.. then shuinan ask me why i nv use all these ideas before..i say dunno..haha..gif u use ma..u my bro..ahaha...then nth much le..look at the com..the com look at me....haha....Tuesday, November 01, 2005 @ 22:21 | back to the top.
yoz!!!! just finished cutting my finger nail..ahah..very boring lazy to srudy...haha..fourth time bloging todae...lolz...haha..just now i cook dinner with my mum..but my mum just sit there and eat her orange and nag and nag at me....while i was so hardworking to cook for her...haiz...somemore not enough rice....wan me go down buy..but i lazy..=X.. haha..then add the unpolised rice..not bad lei the taste..haha..she keep nagging at me... think finally she got time to be alone with me this naught son to dig the things inside of me ba...haha..but luckly she dig nth but crap..haha...i keep toking crap with her...haha..then she go nag and nag...haha...say i dunno why seem happier at once and sadder and once..haha..then i tell her i study until crazy liao..haha..then she wack me..then i add too much salt to the veg..then salty..haha..then my dad fish back liao first mouth eat the veg then he ask my mum why so salty..haha..then i say dunno..my mum keep quiet..haha..lame ba.....todae listen to waiting for u and lonely until i can sing the whole song liao la...haha...bored...everyone sleep early pls..haha @ 16:30 | back to the top.
wanted to rest but...dunno why just cannot go to slp...haiz....missing her ....really..haha..sorry i come here cause i got noth to do le...really miss her..onli 1 dae u know...haiz...dunno how....... how am i going to lgo on after exam??? haiz...how?...i am dead man.....i have no exp in missing a gal so much...maybe last time de relationship is i am still young and useless ba...play with ppl..haiz...regret now tt i play with her.....sorry..lolz..i am crazy come here write this...lolz..haha.. boring ba...miss her lot...ar.... when ever i look at a blank space her face come to my image...looking at her photo..haha..lame ba...haha.. maybr this is heaven telling me tt i can't live without frenz..lolz...life like this really sux man...think i later going to mac to study myself ba..cause i cannot study at hm de...dunno why....shuinan painting his house so gd...how i wished i could paint my house too...if i have a room of my own here i will paint her name big big there..haha..boring ba...byeZ @ 14:43 | back to the top.
ARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ALONE AT HM.............DAMN SIANZ AR...........SICK LIAO AR............. THINK NV SLP BA....STUDY STUDY AND STUDY.............ALL CAN GO OUT....WAN FIND PPL ALL GO OUT.................DAMN SIANZ AR............NOW I SEE BOOKS AND PAPER I SCARED LIAO LA.................SIANZ LIKE HELL..NONO..THINK HELL IS BETTER THEN HERE.............SHUINAN WENT OUT...ALL OUT...WTF...SIANZ AR..........................I AM GOING TO BE CRAZY LE LA.............................................................................BORING AR............................................................SOMEONE PLS COME...........I AM CRAZY.....................................................BOOK ARE FREAK.............. PAIN PAIN PAIN.............. @ 09:49 | back to the top.
YaWnZ..just woke up...haha...tired lei..dunno why..haha..todae is festival of light..haha...wished ppl celebrating it will be damn happy.....lolZ..dunno come here write wat...so early in the morning brain is empty....okok...let tok abt shuinan..haha..this bro of mine is 16 this year...tall like hell..look like skinny but no la...haha...he finished his "n"lvl le...think he can do it de..cause his studies not bad de...haha..he now working at marriot where i havd been working..haha...now he no time to accompany me le...told u all liao...once work = no time...me will be worst then him alot..cause i captain liao...more work then him..he is just at the bar...can change shift..i almost need to work everydae 10a.m to nite 11.30p.m or with O.T to 3.30a.m..so..hiaz..dunno how... i will got no time for anybody...just like the song LoNely...lolz...so bored...ytd chinese paper...see they all say the paper quite easy..but i see all chinese paper the same de..lolZ..still can do ba..NV SLEEP DURING BOTH PAPER LEI..lolz...last time chinese paper i comfirm will fall asleep de..haha...then after tt go watch movie..watch the andy lau one..all rite la...not really gd...not much emotions...=X..but quite sad la..if tt happen to me...i dunno how...haiz..haha...then go hm rot loh.....haiz....ok la...i go wash up then look at my books le....byEz